compulsive liar? i hope not.

Just didn't feel like doing anything last night. Jo (now 3+ yrs old) however, wanted to play and kept asking "what do you want to do mum?" I kept replying "nothing."
Finally, thouroughly fed up with my answer, she took a deep breath and said very sternly

"Why don't you want to do anything? All you want to do is nothing....if all you want to do is nothing..then I am going to do something and you can do your nothing while I do something!"

And mind you, she said it all in one big breath. hahahaha.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
on a walk with Jo yesterday we came across some very big roots. I asked her "Jo, what do roots do?" without hesitation she replied "roots for for tripping people!" hahaha...
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now on a serious matter...Jo's been telling lies quiet a bit lately. I'm trying my best to deal with it..but she keeps at it. Yesterday for instance 3 big lies.

No.1) she was building blocks and showed me her creation. I told her it was lovely and left the room. Several minutes later, I heard a loud moan and she said "it broke, mum, it broke!!" I entered the room and the blocks were broken apart. I asked her "how did it break?"
she replied "it fell off the bed."
"How did it fall off the bed Jo?"
Jo said, "well, the bed was wiggling and so the blocks fell off."
"hmm...so were you jumping on the bed to make it wiggle?"
"No mum, I didn't jump on the bed, it wiggled by itself. "
"bed can't wiggle by itself, tell teh truth!"
"ok,ok" said Jo. "The blanket was wobbling coz the wind blew it, and it made the bed wiggle and.."
"Jo, I think your nose is growing longer...."
Jo touched her nose and asked "Like Pinocchio's?"
I nodded.
"ok mum, the truth is I took the blocks apart"

She she took it apart and pretended to moan! I can't believe it!
XXXXXXXX

No.2.
me: "Jo, go to the toilet, we have to go out soon, and I won't use the dirty public toilets."
Jo: "ok mum" and she went off to the toilet. She was in there about 30 seconds and came out.
Me: "so quickly jo? did you flush?"
Jo: "oh, I forgot."
Me:" let's go flush."

we went to the toilet and I noticed that we water in the toilet bowl was crystal clear, not a drop of pee. so I said sternly "Jo, did you shee-shee (pee) ?? tell me the truth."
Jo looked at me sheepishly and replied "errm...actually I didn't." So I made her pee there and then. *sigh*
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

no.3. Jo: "mum, I need tissue.
Me: why?
Jo: nothing
me: tell the truth
jo: ok,ok, I spilled some water
Me: where did you get the water? where is the cup?
Jo: umm....missing
Me: ok, now tell me what you spilled??? (I already knew it was glue, but wanted her to say it for herself.)
Jo: ummmm...ok,ok, I spilled glue

There's a whole lot more ... I'm trying to praise her when she tells the truth. I've told her the story of the boy who cried wolf, and tried several other methods. but it's not working yet. Any tips???

my little messenger

we mothers/fathers sometimes use our children as messengers, and i did just that yesterday. hubby works late and I wondered if he'd be willing to go for a run at the field.

So I told Jo to call her dad and told her to say "dad, please come back by 7 so you can go run wit mummy. It is not safe for women to run alone. If you don't come, mummy will be running alone among the strange men."

I then dialled the phone and asked Jo to talk. Here's what she said to her daddy "Dad....dad, you must come home by 7 to run with mummy. There are many robbers you know, bad robbers. Dad, you Better come home, or mummy will RUN AWAY with the men!!"

I thought that was so hilarious. hahaha..

______________________________
Nel....she's been so busy with school work and homework she hardly gets to do anything else. She's lost weight too. Here's what she misses now she's at school..
she misses....evening walks,
.......cycling to the park,
....... visits to the library
... playing in the stream
......splashing in puddles after the rain
.... walking the dog..... She is missing out on so much, coz the school keeps giving MORE AND MORE AND MORE homework!!!

These 2 weeks it's exam time. You'd think teachers would give homework a break so the child can do revision, but NO. Last night she had so much homework she only slept at midnight! I get so frustrated. *sigh*

my daughters have been crazy about princesses. Jodie is near obsession with Ariel (little Mermaid)..... and i'm beginning to think Ariel is bad influence. Obsession is never a good thing anyway..... She even dreams of Ariel, acts like Ariel and already talks of marrying a prince someday. I tell her that real life prince are hardly nice people.

Anyway...they were discussing princesses as usual yesterday together with their cousin Lyd. They made a list of princesses together with drawings they made themselves. I don't have a camera yet (the last was stolen when the thief broke into my house), thus no pics of their drawings. The pics i guarantee would have brought big smiles to your faces as it did to mine. haha.... Anyway, the list went like this...

1) Gjesmeen (Jasmine from Aladin, if you didn't get it)

2) Cinderela (almost accurate spelling here, except for one L)

3) Sno Whit

4) Moolan (yeah..mooo like a cow! haha...)

5) Ariel (this one they can spell perfectly)

6) Bell

and......this is the best, they spelled her

Slipping Butty !!

my very last conversation with Ah Ma

My grandma was discharged from the hospital last weekend. Somehow…by a miracle….the hemorrhaging stopped.

For me the episode was like God forewarning us that…..Ahma’s life on earth would not be for long. Her heart has been weak, and she’s been surviving on just tiny heart vessels coz all her major arteries have been clogged up. How long more she’d have…we weren’t sure.

So I visited her last Saturday at her place. I’m glad I did. When I arrived, she had just been shifted to her wheel chair. She had been feeling tired and wanted to go lie down. But as soon as she saw me, her tiredness left. :) She insisted on being moved back to her day chair. Her maid/nurse refused to move her, and left to do work in the kitchen.

Then Ahma made her own attempt at getting up, and she’s too frail for this, so my hubby helped move her back to her own day chair. I sat next to her, and she looked up at me and smiled…such a child like smile, expressing real happiness. We talked for a while..and she seemed to remember me. Some moments she would look at me and study my face intently and at other moments fade into her own world….calling her maid and daughters every 2 minutes.

While she was in hospital… the lost of blood and drop in oxygen at one point affected her brains…causing her to loose memory. So for her to remember me for a while meant a lot.

Then we sat in silence for a while and suddenly she looked at me and asked “lu eh laubu leh?” (where’s your mum?)
I replied in Chinese “she’s in the kitchen, preparing your meal.”
Ahma looked at me and said “Ee u lai meh?” (she came?)
I said “yes Ahma, she came.”
Ahma looked at me doubtingly and asked “tiang si lu eh lau bu?” (who’s your mum?)
I replied that she was Mary……and she looked at me and asked “lu si tiang?” (who are you?)

It was so strange having such a conversation with my own grandma. After a while…she kinda recollected who I was again. Then it started to rain very heavily…Grandma kept asking several people if her window was shut. She refused to believe any of them that her windows had been shut properly and kept asking about it every minute. Finally I told her I’d go check. I walked to her room, stayed there for a while so she’d think I was shutting the windows, coz yea, they were shut already long time ago.

I came out, held her arm and said “Ahma, I’ve shut your windows, don’t worry, no rain is gonna get in.” She looked at me, with child like expression again and a smile and said “cin eh ah?" (really?) lu u sim, lu u sim. Kam sia, kamsia.” (you have a heart, thank you, thank you.)

Finally she had a headache, I massaged her head a little and then they sent her to bed and I went home.

I never knew…..that’d be my last conversation with my Ahma. She passed away last night....

I’m honored to be called her grandchild. She who raised 10 children and put her full faith and trust in God. She who encouraged her children and grandchildren to put God and prayer first in everything. I am truly blessed….

I know she’s in a better place…. But honestly…it is hard to let go…very hard… and I can't stop crying...
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To my Ahma, I won't say "rest in peace" coz I know you're not sleeping, but already in a better place where there's no pain, where there's much joy, in the arms of our Heavenly Father. I miss you...
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my brother wrote this on his notes:

I was at Lin Wei's, Ampang. She had fractured her leg, so I had to visit. Cindy came along. I had just finished defending how having 10 well brought up children was better than having just 1. I explained to Lin Wei's mom how my grandma have 10 children and NONE are delinquent in caring for their mother. All give a share of their little and plenty to her every month, and all chip in for her hospital bills and other comforts.
And then the phone rang. "Ah Ma passed away," said my sister. "What?" I retorted... not knowing how to react... I had no answers... And so I dropped Cindy off and headed straight to my Ah Ma's in PJ.

I was tempted to not go. I did not want to see all the crying. But I knew that I was being selfish. I switched my focus onto my mom. I love my mom and want to be there for her when it counts most. She was always there for me... And so I went...And there they were, all standing and some sitting beside her lifeless body, praying and thanking God for her awesome life.

Tears involuntarily streamed down and I was overcome with grief. I could not believe it had happened so fast. Just 12 days after she was discharged from hospital.As I stood there shoulder to shoulder with my cousin Martin and uncle SK, we sobbed and we prayed... and as I looked around, I lamented: "There is life in death. Even in such a close knitted family, Ah Ma's death brought everyone closer in an instant. Even as death took place, the depths of our hearts became alive, and love overflowed. No pretense, no machismo, but in all real humility, the men along with the women cried openly.

How ironic... life in death....I could only imagine how even torn families with soured relationships may at that moment repair itself and put differences aside... unite and brave the mourning together... Ah, but tonite, I mourn the lost of my beloved Ah Ma... my beloved Ah Ma... I said My beloved Ah Ma... Goodbye Ah Ma... rest well... And this is our comfort: that because Jesus loves her, He's taken her home, to a better place where she rejoins her beloveds... Ah Kong and Aunt Annie.... and there will be no more pain and suffering... and one day, we will all be together for all eternity. Hallelujah! Amen!

my Ah-ma, my dear grandmama, the pillar of strength in the lives of her many children and grandchildren has become rather frail lately....at times acting child like. Her source of strength has always been God. She used to pray no less than 3 times a day for all her 10 children and 20+ grandchildren.... and because of that, we've seen God's blessings showered upon her family down to her great grandchildren. I'm so blessed to have such an Ahma, for she's taught me the power of prayer and faith and hope in God.

I have many beautiful memories of my Ahma, and today they all came flooding back to me as I drove. ..... memories from when I was a little girl, sitting by her rocking chair teaching her the Alphabets while she taught me to write my name in Chinese, memories of having lunch just with her alone, and listening to her pray....

My grandma was hospitalized yesterday... she had massive blood lost and was rushed to the ICU. Several times she glimpsed upwards and smiled as if ready to go into her Maker's hands....but God sustained her...and she's a little better today, though still very weak.

I'm praying that God will heal her.....

wow....a month since I blogged. Juggling part time work and household chores and cooking is not easy. Sometimes i wished i worked full time, that way I wouldn't have to worry about cooking lunch and cleaning constant mess, just send em to the babysitters. At other times I wished I was full time mum, so I wouldn't have to rush my household chores and the children. I'm constantly rushing so I can get to work on time.
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Anyway...today was an interesting day. I spent the afternoon at an NGO, auditioning underpriviledged children and orphans. If all goes as planned, I will be teaching music to these underpriviledged children starting next month.

I remember the first time I volunteered at an orphanage the year I came back from the US. I helped out at 2 orphanages and it was in many ways a rewarding experience. Most of the time these children wanted someone to talk to, someone who'd love them, who'd come regularly and not drop out like many volunteers do.

Sometimes teaching them is not easy. There was this time I was teaching a group of 6-7 year olds music. I think there were 10 of them. I remember how they came barefooted in shabby clothes. It was hard teaching that class. Everyone wanted to sit next to me, and hold my hands....so there was much shoving and pushing and I spent most of the time trying to control these children. At one time I told them "Let's hold hands and make a circle and dance around." So I had like 2-3 children holding parts of my hands, and some hanging on to my shirt...and we moved, not in a perfect circle, but more like a perfect blob of people, all clinging on to me.

Anyway, today's children seem pretty talented, especially in rhythm and dance! they could hip-hop, do break dance, do hand stands and cartwheels. Interesting. Some of them were so shy...and some so very brave and independent. But they all had huge lovely eyes....

I don't know yet what teaching them will be like.... I anticipate that a few of them will be a problem.. Some may have ADHD i think...and problems understanding. Most of them speak Tamil. we'll see when time comes, but I am already looking forward to the time when classes will begin.

A walk in the rain

We met up with some very dear friends who'd just come back from abroad. A lovely meeting after many years. We had been brainstorming about all the possible places to go..and in the end we went to a forest nearby.
Just before we left the clouds turned black.... but we decided to go ahead, hoping it'd be one of those showers that would end in just 5 minutes. Alas, we were wrong. As soon as we arrived it began to pour, and then drizzle and pour. I thank God that all of us were not the type to chicken out...and I must say our children were very brave and they enjoyed the rain tremendously. :)
We walked close to 2 hours on the track, mostly uphill, ..... through drizzle and sometimes very heavy rain. The two youngest of the lot, Jo and Md fell asleep at some point and the fathers had to carry an extra load of 12 kgs most of the way. :)
We finished the walk drenched in rain water, and some of us collected an extra souvenir on the way...leech bites followed by non stop oozing blood. haha........
All in all.....we decided it'd be a walk to remember for a long long time.

I enjoyed myself a lot too....I suppose we'll meet again in 3 to 4 years time? we'll plan something better next time yeah ? Perhaps East??

Burglars broke into our house yesterday evening while we were out havin dinner. When we got back, hubby opened the gate and went in first, while I helped the kids down. Then he shouted with panic in his voice "HON!! thieves have broken in!!!!" and without thinking twice he boldly went in to check. I really panicked and asked the kids to get into the car and lock. I panicked coz some years back, my friend's house was broken into, and when he went into check 2 robbers were still there armed with knives. (hubby later realised that he should've called police to check and not gone in by himself.)

Thank God, in this instance, the burglars had left. They'd broken the window, hacked at the wall to break the grill and entered. They took most of the electronic equipment and precious jewelry which were given to me on my wedding day. The house was a mess, drawers opened and stuff thrown about. Estimated lost is quite a lot. I don't understand why none of my neighbours heard anything? About 6 policemen came by took reports and left. Apparently there is burglary almost EVERYDAY! scary isn't it?

I suspect......that robbers may be teens or college going age. All police could say was that there are several robbery gangs about....so if you're staying in my area...please be very careful.

Already, I'm a light sleeper. I wake at the slightest noise...I think, I'm gonna be even more paranoid for a while....

(I am however, very thankful that they did not come while we were in. I don't care if the stuff's lost as long as our family's ok.)

some days, I feel like I'm climbing a mountain made of rice. I climb and climb but get nowhere.
I try my best, but stuff keeps slipping by me.
Sometimes in glee, i think that the mountain is finally somewhat getting smaller, shorter .....and then someone pours a new bag of rice on the mountain which I already cannot conquer.
Perhaps I should just jump into the rice? but then, I might get buried in there and suffocate. Or should I just wish for some water to cook the whole mountain of rice. Nah, I'd just get cooked right with it, and it'll get too darn hot.
perhaps, I should just turn around and sit my butt on that mountain and slide right down and walk away....

but that too is impossible.....

as I write this, I have fingers in my ears, one hand typing. I feel I am about to go deaf and am gonna be smoked out like the mozzies! it's Chinese New year eve and the fire crackers have been going on for 20 mins now. The sound of the crackers (LOUD ones) are interjected frequently by the FRIGHTENING bomb like crackers. I jump everytime one explodes (JUMP)(JUMP) ouch my ears!! Will end here and head for the quieter cnfines of the room, which isn't much quieter since much of the house is made of wood and not sound proof. (JUMP) (JUMP) . I feel ilke I'm in the midst of a war. Gonna run now.
Happy New year everyone! :)

p.s Although this is the year of the Ox, I've been eating like a pig here. I must say, the food in Kuching has improved TREMENDOUSLY, lots of fantastic restaurants!!

nel cries..

today I dropped Nel at school as usual. I watched her walk reluctantly to her row in the assembly hall. She looked lost and alone. I waited for a while coz she kept looking out for me. Finally the school bell rang indicating time to walk to their respective classes.

I left the school premises.
.
.
.
.
Picked her up in the evening.... and this was her story....

"Mum.....why did you leave so early? I wanted to run to you to give you one last hug before you left but I couldn't find you. Mum...... as I walked to class, I wanted to cry, but I told myself not to cry.
I tried and tried not to cry,...... but when I got to class, I couldn't control anymore and I cried. I was embarassed, so I hid under the table. Nobody noticed me coz I sit right at the back.

Then all the children left for the computer lab, but I continued crying under my table. My class teacher heard me crying after the children left. She also saw me, coz I made sure that my head was out a little so somebody would see me.
She was kind mum, she talked to me and walked me to my computer class. She told me because I am new, she'd sit with me, and she sat with me till I felt better. Mum, she's a kind teacher.
I want to give her a card and a present mum."

That was Nel's story today... Wow, my daughter hiding under a table and crying? Anyway, I'll make sure Nel gets to write the card she wants to write. Such a kind teacher...we need more like her around instead of the shouting/caning type. I appreciate that teacher, will write her a note myself.

today, i drove an hour to work. 5 mins before lecture, I was so darned thirsty, and realised I'd left my water bottle at home. NO canteen nearby. However, there was a water dispenser in the office, but NO paper cups. Desperate for some water, while the secretaries were away, I grabbed the fax paper, made a cone and "collected" some water in it and drank whatever was left after half of it leaked through the sides onto the carpet.

After work, drove an hour home, picked Jo from my mum's. Drove another 50 mins to pick Nel from school and got home darned tired. Helped Nel with homework, wiped up the stinking pee left by my dog, cleaned dishes did laundry. So darn tired, and now I can't sleep. *sigh* [it's 12:28am]

Oh yeah, Nel has received her first warning at school. She finished this Chinese Science homework and passed it up a few days ago. Now teacher is asking her where is that book! Her teacher said "where is the book? bring it tomorrow or you'll get the cane!"

Darn teacher. Give my child a break, this is just the first week at school! I can't find that book at home, perhaps she's passed it on to the wrong teacher? my dear sis-in-law will be speaking to the teacher on behalf of me tomorrow. hope Nel will be spared the cane or they (the teachers) shall see my wrath befall them !! (that is, if I can speak in broken Chinese, or they can understand my English.) *more sighs*

Nel's first day at school

Nel officially started standard 1 last Monday. So far smooth sailing…so I thought. Well, she’s in Chinese school and doesn’t understand most words. She can barely speak or understand that language.

So the first few days she just went by dreaming n ignoring most instructions coz she didn’t understand anything. She didn’t even raise her hands when her name was called. They probably pronounced her English name all wrong, and she probably didn’t recognize her own Chinese name.

2nd day she desperately needed to go to the toilet and didn’t even dare to ask for fear she’d mention the wrong Chinese word. Thank God my sis-in-law was peeping in and noticed Nel’s desperate face.

She comes home and says “no homework” coz the homework notices are written in Chinese.

Most of all, I told myself, they’re gonna turn our daughter into a communist. Hahaha…. They’re told- How to stand, heads up, finger always on mouth when walking to toilet, no talking, bangs above eyebrows etc etc….and they’ve been warned that if homework is not done, they’ll be given the cane. (one or 2 strokes on the palm!) *shudder*

She carries a tonne of books to school everyday…really, it’s heavy for me too! So I’ve bought her a trolley bag or whatever you call it. Comes with wheels.

Ok, perhaps I’m being pessimistic…. Coz, c’mon, thousands and thousands of kids have been through this system, but survived. Well, bottom line, I’m watching her closely.

Imagine, just 4 days of school, over roti canai yesterday… she said in desperation “Mum, school is so BORING! All you do is SIT SIT SIT SIT! And write and listen. The boy sitting next to me is so naughty. He keeps saying the bad word mum. And the 2 boys in front of me like to tease me. Mum, I prefer my kindy, I don’t like this school.”

I told her “Nel, hang on…just a year….And everytime they start the teasing, you ignore them and do your work quietly. Think about how when you come home each day, mum and Jo will be waiting for you and we can play.”

Nel replied “one year mum??? but it’s too long………… too long. I don’t even get to play anymore, I come home so late…I’ve not been to the playground at all this week! ”

She sounded like she’s been given a prison sentence. And there were tears welling in her eyes as she spoke.

Before going to school I said “Nel…let’s pray.”

I prayed “God…help Nel settle in school and to enjoy her learning. Most of all, I pray that either the boys become nice to her, or you change her seat and put her next to a nice girl.”

Before going to school we sat on the swing for a while, us and our idiotic dog.

Time passed and in the evening she came home and said “guess what mum??? remember you prayed for me today?? Mum, teacher changed my seat! God didn’t make the boys nicer, so He changed where I sit and now I’m sitting next to a nice girl! God answered our prayer mum!”
I was happy for her. Well…we’ll see how it goes in the months to come. I’m still kinda pro home-schooling…I really wanna do that…but we’ll wait a few months

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As for my SVT, I went to see a specialist. He said that the episodes I had were too frequent....and suggested that I may want to undergo a catheter ablation where the catheters are inserted into the veins in the groin and into the heart. They do some tests and zap some nerves. That's as far as I understand. I've opted for medication for now, and see how it goes.

Ever since Jo was born, we've had help with the housework. Recently, we decided to do away with that help, and life has been different. My life of luxury has been removed and when I wake up each day, I wonder where to start.

Well, I don't really have to wonder, coz the first thing I see is the pile of laundry stinking the house. When I get that load of laundry to the washing machine, I see the mess of pee and poo that my dog's left in the laundry area. I think my crazy over excited dog has a bladder control problem. He pees far too much!

Oh yeah, I also have my two little "crumbsters", i'll call them that coz they leave crumbs, and spills and toys everywhere (although they're learning now to clean up themselves). Apart from them, there's also the poopy rabbits on my porch. THey never suffer from constipation, they seem to have problem keeping poo in their bodies. They leave a mountain of poop for me each day!

ahhh...the list goes on and on. For this week, I'll survive, as I'm on a break. Come next week.....*shivers* I'll have to learn to cope. For I work now 5 days a week....
if all gets a little too tough...I'll have to do something.

First on the list....
----- get rid of rabbits
----- bug hubby till he gets me a dryer. Drying takes too much time...especially with rainy weather, rewashing and redrying takes farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr too much time!
------- keep Camel the mad dog in a cage when I'm not around
----move into a one bedroom hut to minimize cleaning (preferably built on stilts with holes between floor planks to minimize sweeping.)
------ get rid of all plates, leaving one per person to discourage random use of plates and cups
------ get rid of all clothes leaving 2 per person to discourage unnecessary change of clothes

Any other suggestions????? (I'll be happy to get some.)

Anyway, my kids have been kinda cute. Sometimes when they notice me doing work, they come along and queue up, little Jo behind Nel. They stand straight and say out loudly "Mummy's Helpers are Here! How may we help you!" haahha.....

the other day I told them to help me by bringing in their own clothes from the laundry line. After a while, they were still outside, and I went to peek. This is what they were doing...

Nel took down a trousers and said "Jo, this will look nice on your head." She put it on Jo's head as a hat. Next she took down a shirt "Jo, this will look nice as a cape." she tied it around Jo's neck. WHen they were done, little Jo walked in with clothes tied all around her body. She looked really funny and amusing. :) haha....


ok....ciao. gotta go...... work to do. Lecture begins next week too....I haven't prepared my notes... and filled in all documents.... heck, don't care. Gonna take the kids out today. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!!!!!!!!!

I had SVT (heart palpitation) again last weekend....this time hubby wasn't around. I tried some of the self physical maneuver the doctors have taught me, but it still refused to stop. After a while, I found that I started to see black if I stood up, and I was beginning to feel shortness of breath and numbness in my elbows and tightness in chest. Having no choice, I called my dad, and he rushed over to send me to the hospital. (3rd time this year.)

5 mins before we arrived at the hospital, it suddenly stopped. Still I asked to see the doctor. My blood pressure was still low and heart rate was still at about 130. In my previous SVT attack, my heart rate was at about 200plus. I was asked to lie down and rest till the heart rate dropped further and then I was allowed home. I have an appointment with a specialist this week. *sigh*

I've had this since teenage. But all these years, the episodes have been rare, perhaps once a year..and they last no longer than 10 minutes. But this year alone, it's occured 3-4 times, each time lasting longer. The one I just had lasted an hour. It's certainly not a comfortable feeling at all. Well, will see what the specialists say.

Anyway, this is my last week of teaching before I take a 2 week break. Can't wait. :)

This is a long overdue update on the development of my children.

Well my little Jo is now 3 years and a few months old. She’s becoming quite the entertainer, acting all the time. Sometimes the character she puts on is so funny that me and Nel really have no choice but to burst into fits of laughter. We did that today, and Jo trying hard not to laugh herself, found her mouth twitching from trying to keep a serious face, and wanting to burst into laughter. She talks to everyone now, from children to adults, talking in long sentences with breaks in between to take in deep breaths of air (which sound like gasping for air.)
She knows her alphabets and has been telling stories and pretending to read from books. A particular book she likes is one about nursery rhyme characters. It’s a short book consisting of 2 lines a page. A few weeks ago, I thought that she was reading the book word for word accurately. However, I now realize that she wasn’t reading, but was reciting, coz she’d actually memorized the book! Hahaha….

Oh yeah, last Sunday we were at the old Folks Home, and she just suddenly decided to lie down smack in the middle. I told her to get up, and she replied “ I can’t mum, I’m a mermaid!” Which brings up the topic of obsession. She seems to be “obsessed” right now, about mermaids, pink dolphins and white horses.

As for Nel, she’s really into arranging stuff. She arranges her colors in certain ways, she stacks up toys or cards in certain ways…and they’re mostly in a certain pattern. Most of the time, she rearranges furniture, toys and stuff in the house to create an imaginary playground. Jo absolutely loves that, coz it creates scenes for her imagination. :)

Ask Nel what she likes most and she’ll tell you stories, play, snacks and long walks.
At the playground last week, while I was talking with her friend’s mum, she was secretly climbing the slide tunnel. When I turned around, she was up there about 10 feet above ground, not inside the tunnel but outside. For some it’s no big deal, but I’m afraid of heights, and so I tried to stay calm. She tells me she wants to go rock climbing, I suppose I will have to take her.

She and Camel (our poodle) are best friends when outdoors. You’ll see Nel hair flying in the wind, holding Camel’s leash and running. My mad/hyperactive dog doesn’t mind it at all. haha... Sometimes you see them sitting together on a bench, Nel red in the cheeks from all that running.
Ok…so much more to update..but it’s late.

today i thought...how nice if my life were not as it is....
I wish....that I lived somewhere on an island,
where I do not have to drive another mile,
where I do not have to rush for the next appointment..

today i thought...how nice if I ran a bed and breakfast cottage
homeschooled my children on the island..
had plenty of leisure time..
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but then I'm reminded of what I heard in church last Sunday..... for some reason...I was so touched...I could barely contain my emotions. The message came after a sleepless saturday night when I questioned so many things...such as the meaning to life, the reason for my existence, the purpose of our actions, my goal in life... [no, no, I'm not depressed...i just ponder on these questions sometimes..when life becomes so mundane, hectic and meaningless...]

I'm currently reading about Hudson Taylor's life, trying to get my focus back on track. Perhaps it will inspire me in some way, or change my perspective of life

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also...of late, I'm getting more adult students. it is encouraging to see these ladies, as old as 50 wanting to learn something new. It is every bit as rewarding as teaching a 6 year old. :) I'm inspired by them, by their love of learning,.... and hope that as a teacher I will be able to inspire them.

too much to do..

i've not written anything in 2 weeks....
.. that's tough for me, coz I like writing.
From writing almost everyday ---
--to only once in 2 weeks.....
All of a suDDeN.....i have nothing in my head.
it's not really like I have nothing in my head,
actually i have tonnes to think about,
TOO much to think about,
too MUCH to do.... and thus,
....nothing to write....


**I need to quit analysing so much, quit thinking so much, quit feeling so much, quit trying to read into everything..how do I shut my mind up???? but then if I quit all these, i'd just be an existing piece of blob...haha...**

me hard working? nah..

Gl recently played a game of tag in which we were supposed to describe each other, based on what we know of each other through our blogs.

Here's how she described me "generous, hard working and a bit hard on yourself, in touch with your artistic and intellectual sides. "

Well, dear G, you were mostly right, except for the hard working part. :)
I wouldn't say I'm very hardworking. :) I do a lot of things, not coz I'm hard working though, but because I like variety. Like I have 3 diff kinda jobs right now (all part time), coz one job would be too monotonous for me. (I dislike monotonous stuff, I detest paper work, I dread meetings...ho ho ho...don't let my bosses read this. ) and sometimes,.... I like to do nothing at all, except to laze around with a book or 2.

Anyway, I'd like to tell you a story from a bit of my life which will give you a little more idea of what I'm really like (most of the time). I still remember this was in Iowa in 1997. I took a research class and one of the assignments was to write a 20 page paper on any research topic. I chose to study Indian music, as in traditional Indian music from India. We were given about 3 weeks to complete the assignment.

I went to the library, grabbed about 20 books off the shelf and borrowed them. Once home, the books sat on my table untouched for many days. As the dateline drew nearer, I began just flipping through the pages of some of the books. Where I thought the information was relevant, I folded the corner of the pages. That was it, and the books remained again untouched, but somewhat scattered around the room, due to my slightly disorganized nature. (I did think however, about stuff which I might write about..it was mostly organized in my thoughts.)

1 day before the paper was due, my neighbour who lived in the basement offered me a free ticket to a football game. I couldn't resist a football game (especially when U of Iowa was going to play against Northwestern)! so I agreed to go. I went to the game, and really regretted it, coz no.1, it started snowing halfway through the game and I only had my spring jacket on. No. 2, the guy had other intentions then just watching the game. (that is a diff story, but I can tell you, I hopped seat to seat trying to get away from him.)

Anyway, game finished, and U of Iowa lost. disappointing. I got home and it was evening and the paper was due first thing in the morning. I still did not panic.

Somewhere around 8 or 9pm, the panic kicked in. I started opening the books to the folded pages and began typing all the important references and information I would have to use. Then my roommate CYee came in, and instead of doing our work, we decided to take pictures to relieve some of the self-inflicted stress. (she too had an assignment due).

About midnight or 1am, I started typing furiously. I rearranged sentences, paragraphs, typed in thoughts and worked like crazy, writing and rewriting. I remember not sleeping at all that night. I got it done in the nick of time, put on my winter coat and walked out in that bitterly cold morning (about 8am) towards the nearest computer lab. That time, though the paper was done, the panic was full blown, coz it'd not been printed yet! and class was at 9am. (I remember trembling in nervousness!)

I managed to get it printed, rushed to class which was on the other side of the river (a good half hour's walk from the lab.) Got there just on time, handed in the paper and slumped down on my chair relieved.

Since then, I've told myself never to repeat such a thing. Sometimes I've succeeded in planning ahead, but mostly I remain last minute, well not so last minute nowadays (last hour?). The results came out and I scored an A-. I know, had I been more hard working, I would've gotten that A. but you know, it's hard to change.....

Does this tell you a little more bout me G? (or did you suspect it already? :) )

My roommate CYee taking a pic amongst my books. (CYee, we had such good times didn't we?? I really miss those days...)

Me, in that horrible hairstyle, taking pics with my clutter of books...at about 2 or 3 am in the morn .)

reading before bedtime

Nel loves to ask her daddy to read, especially before bedtime. Yesterday I had a glimpse of what’s it like coz Nel was in my room. She grabbed a book off the shelf and told her daddy to read it. The book happened to be Gulliver’s Travels, the original classic version, in very very small font.

So both father and daughter rested on the bed as daddy read. I left them and went to shower Jo, prepared her for bedtime. When I got back to the room, I found Nel, half asleep. Her father (my husband :)) was reading, not chapter one, BUT the preface to Gulliver’s Travels, in the most monotonous voice I’ve ever heard. Low.....sleepy...... monotonous voice! He too looked half asleep like he’d just read the history book!!

I said loudly, Nel, “why in the world did you ask your dad to read Gulliver’s travels of all thing?” then turning to my husband I asked “and Hon! Why in the world are you reading the preface???”

Nel woke from her half slumber and said “mum, don’t disturb, I want dad to read so I can sleep!”

I was amused, I’d thought it’s coz she loved stories, but no, it’s coz the voice of her father has the powers to put my little one to sleep! Hmmmm….

I looked at my husband who had not replied to my question, but who’d continued reading in his monotonous voice, showing great disinterest in the preface to Gulliver’s Travels. He read like he was reading a legal document or something, and as his voice became lower, his eyelids almost closing, he struggled to read the very last paragraph in the Preface. And he read it like this:

“Gul-li-vers travels..was, (eyes half closing), like the most of (nodding off here)..like most of Sw…Sw..Swift’s work….(temporary silence) ano..anomy…anonous…anomy..amonynoy.....anonymously and is the….(eyes closed….)….is the…..(reading in his sleep now.)”

That’s when I interrupted again, “Nel, get to your room now, you’re almost asleep." Then turning to my husband I said quite loudly, "Hon, if you’d like to put Nel to sleep, read it to her in her room, and you can both fall asleep there.”

Hahahaha…..

The next day I asked Nel if she enjoyed Gulliver's Travels. She replied "who's Gulliver? did dad read me a story?" Oh, and when popping into Nel's room the next morning, I also noticed that Gulliver's Travels was opened to Chapter one, page one. I suppose that's when the father (my husband) fell into a deep sleep.