today i thought...how nice if my life were not as it is....
I wish....that I lived somewhere on an island,
where I do not have to drive another mile,
where I do not have to rush for the next appointment..

today i thought...how nice if I ran a bed and breakfast cottage
homeschooled my children on the island..
had plenty of leisure time..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

but then I'm reminded of what I heard in church last Sunday..... for some reason...I was so touched...I could barely contain my emotions. The message came after a sleepless saturday night when I questioned so many things...such as the meaning to life, the reason for my existence, the purpose of our actions, my goal in life... [no, no, I'm not depressed...i just ponder on these questions sometimes..when life becomes so mundane, hectic and meaningless...]

I'm currently reading about Hudson Taylor's life, trying to get my focus back on track. Perhaps it will inspire me in some way, or change my perspective of life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
also...of late, I'm getting more adult students. it is encouraging to see these ladies, as old as 50 wanting to learn something new. It is every bit as rewarding as teaching a 6 year old. :) I'm inspired by them, by their love of learning,.... and hope that as a teacher I will be able to inspire them.

third child...yes or no?

Another week's gone by...time goes by too quickly. Starting mid year, my schedule will be doubly busy with more teaching assignments far from home . Though part of me dreads the thought of travelling and spending more time away from home, from my children, I will give thanks. One, because i know, while I'm working my children will be in good hands with my own mum. Second, because recently due to all sorts of unexpected events, my bank account has taken a sharp dip, and when I prayed about it, these job offers came. So I will give thanks. :)

Anyway .... other than that, while going through physio this week, the therapist mentioned the dreaded subject, the subject of the third child. Why is it, soooooooooooo many people are asking me to have a third child? My in laws bug me, my mum's friends bug me...almost everyone except my parents. phew, thank goodness they don't.

Do you know all my in laws have 3-4 children? do you know all my nieces and nephew in laws have also 3-4 children? On hubby's side, i'm the only one with 2.

This issue has been bugging my mind like crazy coz I'm not getting younger...and time is ticking.

Reasons why I should have no. 3 ...
1) everyone says I should try for a boy. (What is the probability of getting one????)
2) The older folks tell me when they hit 50's and 60's they look back and regretted not having more.
3) hubby wants one more
4) It might get quiet around when the children all go to school
5) perhaps out of 3, one might be willing to look after us when I am old? haha..

Reasons NOT to have no.3
1) Increased expenditure, less money to go round
2) Go through TERRIBLe pregnancy again with horrible morning sickness
3) All teaching jobs will be affected again
4) Go through the dreaded C-Section again. I hated it and the pain after!
5) Go through post partum depression again
6) Sleepless nights all over again
7) no freedom to do as I like still... meaning travel...and possibly studying again...

See...the reasons for NOT far outweighs the reasons to have. That's why I can't bring myself to it. But on the other hand....I'm beginning to coo at and admire other people's babies... I'm thinking, if I want one i have to have it now.... I just can't make up my mind.......... just can't. So I wish people would stop bugging me about this for a while.....

Anyway, after all that here's some humor found on http://www.engrish.com/ . Michi, I hope you won't mind these jokes? coz some taken from Japan. Just thought the translation of words here are funny. :) Have a good weekend everyone. :)

No thanks...err...but out of curiosity, is his urine sweet or sour?

this one makes me dizzy reading..

Perhaps this one parents should buy for daughter's boyfriends.

no thanks, i don't think slipping is good at all

ok, but how do I know if my refrigerator is anxious?

yeah...I won't.....can feed with other people's ?

1st day De-Tox

There's a crazy fad going around now, and it's De-tox! yeah, it's something my friends, (which means 30 somethin's and older) are talking about and doing. I never thought I'd get to this stage, but (sigh) i finally have.

Anyways, i went to Cheryl's new pharmacy, called CHERYL PHARMACY yesterday... a Truly unique experience. It's like stepping into a cozy home with all sorts of interesting products which make you feel like you've gotta buy buy buy. Nothing like the boring medicine smelling pharmacy you find outside. You've gotta go there to know what I mean. ANyway, yes, so I bought bought bought...... am especially happy with the organic shampoo which has a lovely aroma and brings this cool, clean tingly feeling to my scalp. Also happy with the yogurt maker. :)

And yes, I was persuaded to buy Juvanex, a detox program. I think I need it for lotsa reasons....
So I started that today. Anyways, it says in the booklet, "to maximise the effect, try to follow eating suggestions inset." So I looked at the suggestions and it said "Day 1 and Day 2 - fruits every 2 hours." "Day 3 and 4 add vegetables to fruits."
I thought...that sounds easy, and went and bought a WHOLE lot of fruits.

So today, I started. Juvanex in the morning followed by fruits. ........ but err....... my stomach wanted more........ more......so I thought a bit of wheat bread won't hurt, and I had that. Then came lunch....... and I had more fruits...dragon fruit, pears and grapes. I drooled as i watched my children swallow their rice, vege, chicken and potatoes....... *drool Drool* and began to wonder if I'd survive this, just one day.

I've to disappoint you by admitting that when Jo couldn't finish her drumstick, I reasoned that food should not be wasted, so I helped her finish it. hahaha..... but ok, it was just 2-4 bites.

Then I decided to take my mind off food, go swim. So swim we went. and after the swim, I was totally LONGING for food, esp a bit of meat...not pork or beef, just some good fish. I love fish. I stole some cereal from my kids and went home and had more fruits.

so I decided to read the booklet again, and to my relief saw, "a small portion of brown rice with vege soup" is allowed. ahhhh.... that was a tremendous relief!! That concludes my first day of detox. I feel ok, not tired or grouchy as they said some might feel. However, I do feel a little hotter than usual, so I've got my air conditioning running at full force.

Let's hope I survive the second day without breaking too many rules. I suppose I want to follow it as closely as possible to get max results and also hopefully to loose some weight. I still need to get rid of that post pregnancy fat, which seems to have become "permanent deposit" around my waist line.

Anyway, one thing i learnt today, i probably can never be vegetarian. haha...

more 30 somethin thoughts

I woke very early this morning.....grudgingly, with creaky, squeaky sounds in every joint all over my aching body. It's been like that for a long time. the shoulder pain and the back pain is perennially there... Yeah, I've been recommended intensive physiotherapy by the doctor, but never got around to starting it.

Anyway, stepped into my bathroom to brush my teeth before starting my job for the morning which is driving my daughter and niece to kindy. I looked at the very large bathroom mirror which stretches from one end of the wall to the other. In the reflection I see the rising sun shining its very gentle and mellow rays through the shutters. The rising sun's ray is so kind as it casts a very beautiful glow on everything it touches, including me. It hides all the flaws which comes with age, and for a moment, I really look like I'm 18 all over again. *sigh* :) hahaha..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok, before you accuse me of being vain, admit it, if you've been mid 30's before...surely there have been moments when you noticed the changes in the body, and yearn for younger days. right? :) hmmm.....is this mid life crisis?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on another note...have you ever gone to bed with a pair of undies which keeps getting stuck between the butt? it's horrible experience. No matter which side you roll, one side keeps getting stuck and you have to yank it out. It really causes imsomnia and sleeplessness. I'm gonna throw that one out today.

Today...

Today started off as a really good day. My hair looked perfectly in place, shiny, bouncy and good. My skin glowed despite the very little sleep I had gotten. (yeah, Jo was super waky the whole of last night!!)
Well…put on my sky blue shirt, some earth-red colored lipstick and my beautiful turquoise colored earrings. Sprinkled a little bit of Sunflower perfume and went off to teach my morning piano students.

Felt really good today…felt young and vibrant. It’s amazing what your feelings can do to you, coz even the people I met today commented that I looked good.

Well it continued that way, till getting down from my car, I caught a glimpse of me in the mirror and noticed the fine wrinkles forming around the corner of my eyes. I was temporarily reminded that I was fast approaching middle age. Shooked off that feeling and went on doing stuff……….TILL I popped in to 7-11 to grab a roll of wrapping paper for my little niece’s present.

Dang those fellows, they surely spoilt my day. I asked for wrapping paper and they said “Wait ah AUNTY, let me go check to see if we have some.” A few moments later the guy reemerged and said “Sorry Aunty, no wrapping paper lar.”

I went back, sat on the bed, and reevaluated myself, giving myself terrible points for everything. One ratty word and that spoilt my day. Aunty indeed! Bah!

But hey, they day ain’t over yet, it’s just 630pm, and I’ve got a birthday party to go to. Gonna spruce myself up, shake off that mid 30’s feeling and enjoy the rest of the day. I can’t help feeling tired with kids and motherly duties. I wish I had all my kids when I was in my 20’s when energy was boundless and sleepless nights would be nothin.

Sigh………….ok,ok. Wake up girl; where’s the optimism I had this morning. Better go find it. But it’s always this way in the evenings when energy runs low.