We’re preparing to sing for my grandma’s 80+++ birthday. My grandma who has been my prayer tower, and source of inspiration is really growing frail. Her memory seems to be failing fast, and she’s just not the same anymore. I can’t help but feel sad…..knowing of the imminent…….return to heaven.

Anyway, so I’ve gotten my little girls to rehearse a little presentation for her birthday party this weekend. You should see them! Little J holding N’s hands. They belt out “Jesus loves me” on top of their lungs! N sings it with all her heart with hand movements. Little J sings it REALLY loud too and seriously, with a little frown on her face, full of expression. :)

Talking about that…hold on, oh my gosh!! I just put both N and J in the shower and told them to bathe. I just turned around to see that N has actually brought J out, wiped her dry and PUT on DIAPERS for her little sister!!!!!!! Wow!!!! ….wait a minute!….I don’t know how she did it, but the diaper is on BACKWARDS!!! Hahahahahaha…………. Ok, she’s attempting to put on J’s clothes now…let’s see how it’ll turn out! Hahahaha…can’t stop laughing.

Anyway, I thought I’d just include a little update on J’s development like I see in all these Baby Journals. I don’t do a lot of that…coz it might be boring, or sound like bragging, that is if she’s an overachiever. But I can’t tell yet.

Right now, J’s 21 months. For now she seems quiet when out, and can turn rock still like stone and not even blink her eyes when facing a stranger!
- she talks a lot at home. Knows most of her body parts and animal names.
- She can sing several whole songs by heart and almost accurately.
- She can sing parts of some songs in other languages too.
- She loves dancing! Haha…and lately is incorporating her new found jumping skills.
- She can count almost accurately up to 15 and jumbles the numbers after that, but they are there, between 11 to 20, just not in very accurate order.
- She recognizes her shapes and some colors and the alphabet O!
- She drinks direct from a cup, no sippy cup, just an ordinary cup. She feeds herself during mealtimes and holds the spoon really well.
- She plays really well with her sister and is quite a joker! She gets her grandpa laughing really hard sometimes! :)
- She likes pretend games which are to do with the kitchen! Haha.. She’ll go behind the play kitchen and ask “mum..you want chicken? Mum, water?”
- She prays really cutely before her milk
- She operates the VCD player, the fan, and electrical toys on her own...(attempting to operate the oven too!)
You know what….I can’t list down the things. It’s crazy trying to think. Overall, I think she’s developing just like any other child. :)

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As for N, she's a little confused with some past-tense words when it comes to reading. She's progressing really well in her reading skills. She was reading Noah and the ark on her own, when she came across the word "covered." She read it as "Cover-red". Then we came across "gathered" and she read it as "Gather-red", and Stopped as "stop-ped." When I corrected her, she said "mum, red is RED, and Ped is ped, as in pedal". Well, she finally agreed with me and read them correctly. Then we came across the word "ended", and she just read it as "end." I told her this time, she would have to read it as "End-ded."
Ahh...English............. such a fun language. ;)

ok...have to go.

Freedom..of...

Don't take your freedom for granted.............the freedom to choose......the freedom of choice..the freedom of worship....

Lina Joy lost her appeal today.......appeal for? well, click on link to read.

POsitive Home ENvironment

Hey friends, thanks for the birthday wishes, only it was Nel's birthday. :) Jo's birthday is in August. Anyway, Nel turned 5. She had a totally wonderful week with celebrations and special outings which went from Monday till today! haha.... boy, she's been really happy. :) She received some really interesting presents. Her most favourite being a drawing board, a whole tool kit for collecting and studying insects and a really interesting game where you have to catch these fast moving mice by using a flat piece of "spatula" which vibrates! haha.... ok, so this mummy (ahem), is really interested in Nel's toys too! In fact, err...guess who went out and tried to catch the first insect?? haha...ok, ok, it was me. Well, I've promised Nel a trip to the stream soon, where there will be ample insects to catch and observe. :)
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On another note, I was supposed to do a class about "Creating a Positive Home Environment" for my small church group. well.....in the end, my super mum taught the class. However, while doing my bit of reading, I came across these things.........thought it'd be nice to post it up here as a reminder to myself..and whoever who reads this blog.

Creating a Positive Home Environment
Facts below taken from – Raising Positive kids in a Negative World. Zig Ziglar

- It takes team effort as family is truly a unit, it functions more effectively as a team.
Have family projects and family goals that everyone has chosen eg. Planning a picnic, building a pond etc. Working together on projects brings family closer together.

- Team must have a captain, a leader.
Usually this is the husband, father. Wife is second in command (not in importance, for she is very important too). Clearly establish chain of command. Even if wife is smarter than husband, it still doesn’t alter chain of command. (hahaha...some of us wife find this tough!)

- The winning team is mom and dad.
Both dad and mum must make contributions far beyond just paycheck. Eg. Dad can help with homework and talk with them while mum prepares dinner. Mum and dad can do dishes together, or mum do dishes, dad helps read bedtime story and put children to bed. Main point is, if both dad and mum are in home, they should both be involved in all aspects of raising children. In cases where parents don’t function as a team, often there is child neglect, abandoning of families, broken family relationships.

- Every family member must be taught and required to do a part.
Even your 4 year old can pick up toys, or take his dishes to the back. This approach greatly reduces the possibility of raising negative, overindulged, spoiled kids who only believe they should get all they can regardless of what it may do to other people.

- Respect- It’s a MUST.
If you show feelings of love and respect, you will receive obedience, loving responses from other family members (children & spouse). If there is a lack of respect, they will be rebellious and disrespectful. That’s why parents should conduct themselves in a manner that creates respect and builds love.

-Don’t break promises (unless circumstances are beyond control). Don't scream and shout at each other in public or even private. Treat each other with respect or you will destroy sense of honor and respect. Many relationships can be solved with kindness.

- Communicate and talk to one another –
that is we must learn to listen & communicate. Well guess what? Talking TAKES TIME! And SHUT OFF that distracting by TV, computer, phone n papers. Watch tone of voice. Do not ridicule.

- Love coz of who that person is, not coz of what they can do!

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Facts below taken from "If Mama ain’t Happy, Aint’ nobody happy" by Lindsey O Connor

- Minimize strife (fighting and arguing) Parents solve your problems in private.
- Maximize time together. We connect when we spend time together. Relationships are nurtured
- Enjoy one another. Enjoy that time, not do your own thing. When you play with children, don’t read your paper or sms!

- Respect one another. A home where we respect one another is a home where joy can blossom.

Disrespect is a weed that chokes!
- Share a loving touch. Kiss your spouse and children.
- Make memories from mishaps. Turn problems into memories.
- Occasionally do the unexpected. Routine is good, but everyone needs a break.
- Practice J.O.Y. Jesus first, others second, yourself third.
- Focus on blessings

butts n abs

hnhN's 5th birthday is coming up this Wed! so grandma decided to take her shopping today to buy her some new shoes. :)
So we were out looking for her shoes, and she finally got a pair of lovely pink sandals with flowers on the top. I got her new swimming board with lovely pictures of dolphins. (I'm crazy of dolphins and whales...and I think I've influenced her to like them too.)

Well, while shopping, I had to stop to look at some really pretty skirts for myself. I love wearing skirts, but I always have to make sure they're A cut. However, today, many of the pretty skirts are the long, flare kind. *sigh*....I've tried those, but they SURE make my butt look big!! It's not fair. In today's fashion, at least, in this part of the world... small butts are almost a must, that is, small butts and flat stomach. coz now most of the shirts are long and flare too...which is almost certain to make me look pregnant if I ever tried them!

I don't understand how teens nowadays have such FLAT behinds! I wonder did they chomp off the meat? OK, so once I wore a Sari (Indian outfit) and my indian friends commented "WOW, you look REALLY good in sari, coz you've got a hip and a butt to carry it!"
Yeah, so what? I can't be wearing a sari everyday of the week!

So, what do I do to have a flatter butt? I don't know. WHat do I do to have a flatter tummy? I don't know..I've been working hard, but the results are slow. I've gotta have stronger determination. Some of these butt, thigh and ab exercises are killers!

Anyway, I hope this fashion trend passes soon and something else will come in. I'm tired of looking at all these long flare clothes which will not suit me. Anyway, if all else fails, I still have my favourite Denim skirts. :)

Goodnights

Sometimes N makes a big deal out of saying goodnights. Just tonight, after reading her a chapter from Narnia, she switched off the lights and said "Mum, can I just lie down here for a while? I will miss you when I go to my own room."

I replied "sure..but how can you miss me when you'll be fast asleep?"
"I'll miss you when I'm sleeping mum" says N, and she gives me a hug and several kisses on the cheeks. Then she gets up and says, "I'll be back to pray ok?"

A few seconds later I hear her calling her dad and baby J to come pray. :) haha..... So they are all in my room... and N prays. "Lord, I pray for mum...that you'll help her sleep well. Heal her from her shoulder pain, and please let her rest well, so she can teach us, feed us and look after us tomorrow when daddy goes to work. And Lord, I pray for Baby J, that she'll be a good baby and sleep well so she won't disturb mummy at night (at which point J interrupts and says "naughty N)...and I pray J won't always say naughty "(J interrupts again and says Naugchy nauchy L)....

N looks at Baby J, holds her head and prays near her face "and God, I pray Baby J will learn to say good..." Baby J says again Nauchy mummy, nauty daddy... hahaha....

Anyway, then N gives us all big hugs lotsa kisses, tiptoes out of the room, waving and giving flying kisses in the air. She closes the door gently, but before it shuts, she's back in again! She comes in to hold Baby J, sings to her the closing Barney song, and hugs and kisses J, and then goes to her room for the night.

Such a lengthy goodnight.... hahaha..... so wonderful. I hear that teenagers sometimes don't even say goonight. They just mumble something like "mmmrr..." and go to bed. So I'd better enjoy these wonderful sweet goodnights while they last. :)

good/bad news

Today was a good day. Well, good and bad. The bad news is that we found out that Nel actually has 6 whopping cavaties in her little mouth! According to the dentists that is A LOT for a little girl of 5. (Incidentally, she'll turn 5 on the 23rd of May!)

Well, I felt bad as a mum, coz the dentist must be thinking what a horrible mum I am to allow these cavaties. Well actually before the age of 3, it was a terrible struggle getting Nel to open her mouth for brushing. And at 3 it was a struggle getting her off her milk bottle (which caused some of the cavaties). And now, it's a struggle trying to tell her that chocolates, biscuits and sweets will NOT do good to her teeth. (she gets them as treats from her teachers!..and sometimes me...oops...) If she could, she would have coco pops, and all these chocolate cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The result....6 horribly big, deep cavaties.

Well, the good news is that, after several failed attempts at getting her to the dentist, or getting her to OPEN her mouth while at the dentist, today we succeeded!! HOORAY!
Yes, I have been with her to the dentist before. She'd sit on my lap, two hands on her mouth for extra extra protection, while the dentists kindly, PATIENTLY tries to coax her into opening her mouth. They've never succeeded, till today. I could kiss this new dentist we tried today! hahaha....
Well, it took him 10 minutes to convince her that it was ok to show her teeth! I thought I saw sweat droplets on his forehead and I think he grinded his teeth once or twice in trying to maintain cool, and I did see a frown beginning to form on his forehead, though through it all he maintained a smile and calm voice. haha.....

Finally she opened wide, and he took his opportunity at digging out the rotten parts of the teeth. They looked brown, and Nel convinced that they were BIG FAT JUICY WORMS, allowed him to clean her teeth thoroughly. THen he told her he was gonna put some delicous play dough in her teeth to keep the worms from coming back, and she allowed it. :) So I'm happy that's done. Not totally, but some filled. Still another 2 appointments to go.

The other good news is that Nel is beginning to gain some water confidence while in the pool. :) So she's starting swimming classes. She will not yet put her whole head in water, but at least, she's willing to do other stuff now. like swim with the board, do the spider crawl and blow bubbles.

okie dokie, will end here. We just had dinner at Pizza Hut, us, cousins and cousins. 9 children in total! what a mess and terrible racket we made at that restaurant. Bet they were glad when we left! haha.... :)

The stunted tree

This is a picture of a little tree planted in the large space across the road from my house. You would think that this tree is just a year old, but actually this tree was planted way back in Jan 2004. Let me tell you the story of this tree.

My parents had gone to a village where these lovely tall trees provided shade. Not only did they provide shade, they also provided beauty and fragrance through it’s beautiful white blossoms which smell sweet and refreshing.

So enthralled by this tree, they bought a few young ones and came home with them. They gave one of it to me and I planted it across the road, expecting it to grow tall and begin blossoming. Alas, I became busy with my little ones, and then Jo came along. Unattended, the weeds quickly grew close up to it and began to choke it.

Noticing the poor condition of the tree, I finally removed the thick grass and weeds surrounding it, but that proved insufficient. Then I decided to put fertilizer, but it still proved futile. That tree did not grow an inch!!!

Then, one fine day, after 2 years of remaining stunted, the leaves began to turn brown, and within 4 days, I saw it wither and die. Later I found out that no matter what I did, it would not grow, coz there was one major factor that killed it. I found out that the ground was hard ground, full of large stones buried in it by the housing developers when they were building my house. They did not throw all the garbage away, but planted them in earth. This stones buried were unseen to my eye. But they served to stop the roots of the plant from growing, causing it to remain stunted, and eventually die.

Now a strange miracle happened though! A few days later, I noticed a new shoot growing! Yes, fresh and green! And so here it is now, a few months old. Now unless I tend to it more regularly and dig that hard ground and replace it with new earth, it too will probably die.

I think of this tree in relation to me. There have been times when the “weeds” of life have come crowding in so near I felt like I was choking and “dying”. But physically, I chose to then remove these weeds. The weeds were things such as an overtly busy schedule, pressure from work, procastination. These were things I could control.

But then there were/are also big stones, buried deep within where people cannot see. And these are the things which really could choke me to death. These stones I cannot remove on my own. Just as I have to help the tree by digging it’s earth, I believe that someone has to help me “dig” my heart and search me, and remove these stones. And only one person can do it, and that is God.

Actually, He has been removing stone after stone from my life. I remember a time in my teenage years when I was so choked by fear, fear of people. I felt isolated, entrapped, stuck, choked. But when I cried out to God, He helped me and began removing these “stones” a little at a time. Gradually I began to feel more free..and this process continues. I know, He (God) gave me a chance, and like my little tree, I grew a new shoot and became a new person. Just ask some of my long time friends and they’ll know it’s true.

What are the “stones” in your life? They could be issues related to fear, self-esteem, pride, stubbornness, unforgiveness, unforgettable/shattering incidents…… May we seek God, and let Him remove these things less we turn brown and wither and die. With His help and strength, we can grow “tall” and fragrant, like the beautiful trees my parents saw, and not stunted and choked like the tree in front of my house.

Conversation with N

N did well today. Her screamings and anger tantrums have somewhat lessened. Perhaps I too have changed my way of approach with her. I try more encouragement and it works with her.

Anyway, here's some bits of conversation we had today....
..today she took out her underwear from the drawer and asked "Mum, how do you know which is front and which is back?"
I replied " well, the shorter one goes in front."
N: Why mum?
Me: coz the bum at the back is bigger. :)
N: oh, yeah, that means we have 2 bum bums. One big one and one small one in front.
Me: No, we have one bum, the one behind. The one in front is just the shee-shee (peeing) area.
N: Yes, that's why I said we have two bum bums. One bigggggggggggg one for "pangsai" (pooing) and one smalll one for shee-shee.
Me: hahahahahahaha
N grins.
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After a while we talked about dogs and cats. As we were talking I said "Uncle S's dog is lost. She got stolen."
N: Mum why did you say she? Did you know mum, dogs are boys and cats are girls??
Me: Why do you say that? actually there are male and female dogs and cats.
N: but dogs are rough so they are boys, and cats are soft like girls.
Me: N, in every species, well most species, there are female-girls and male- boys.

well...after some explanation she got it. Later when her daddy came home from work, she greeted her daddy by calling "Male...Male!!"
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In the evening N was watching the cartoon Jonah and the Whale. In the cartoon God speaks to Jonah. N asks "Mum, I wanna hear God speaking. How come Jonah gets to hear God speaking so loudly but I can't? I want to mum. How do I hear GOd mum? I want to hear His voice."

I can't help but think, how earnestly she longs to hear God, how unquestioningly children belief and have faith. She truly has faith in our Living God. Oh to have faith like a little child. :)
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time to end here...we just got back from a night swim. N's imagination went wild. After a while, she kinda freaked out...coz she started saying "I want to get out, I want to get out..mum there's a whale in the middle of the pool, and there's a turtle on the other side.!" Her imagination is really wild!
As for baby J, I got her to float on her back! yahoo... Just by telling her to look up at the stars. Yeah, somehow tonight, the sky was so clear with so many twinkling stars. Something I'd not seen in a long time. So J floated on her back, lightly supported by my hands, watching the twinkling stars. Lovely. I feel like sleeping now. :)

ok, my muscles are Killing me!!! Yesterday I went for this aerobics class called "Body sculpt". The instructor was a guy and we were an all ladies class. He made us do weights like we were in training to be the next Mr. Muscular man. My gosh, he was oblivious to the pain he was causing us ladies because he was so happy lifting those weights himself while dancing to loud music and shouting, 6 more! 5 more! 4 more!!! rar rar rarrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

So this morning my muscles were so sore!! and I wanted to sleep in when I checked my diary and realised I had an appointment with a personal instructor today. So, reluctantly, i got me and the kids ready and headed for the gym again. First thing my gym instructor said was "good morning!" today we're gonna do intervals." So I followed, wondering what the heck was "intervals." I soon found out, it was MORE MORE weights!! alternating with weights for the thighs. With my aching muscles, I could barely lift those weights....hahaha.... I told her she was torturing me, and she told me my muscles needed serious reconditioning!

As for children, I've been attending this parenting class. And today, I realised I've not been doing too bad. I've been too hard on myself. I suppose it's coz I have this angelic niece, and I've been trying to turn N into an obedient angelic girl. I now realise , that is not N's character...and so I shouldn't beat myself if I don't turn her into perfect. Listening to the speaker talk about disciplining methods helped me realise I am on the right path. :) So hooray for that.

Also, this morning, I was just telling N that we should pray that she would have the fruits of the spirit which are love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, self-control etc etc. Well, I went for the parenting class today, and the speaker said "Parents, we should all pray that the Lord will grant us the fruits of the spirit." hahaha........ Yeah, was the Lord trying to tell me something? ok, I realise now, that I too, need to practice love, joy, patience, more patience, self control etc. :)

One thing that struck me.... a child will comply more to a joyful parent. A parent that is constantly strict and hardly smiling will often produce a rebellious child. Yes, Lord, I need more Joy! :) I admit, there are many mornings, I wake up not having a good night's sleep..and become a demanding grouch. And then little things tick me off. I must remind myself to be a joyful cheerful mum.

what did I blog about the last time? Freedom? Suddenly I feel "free" compared to what this other woman is facing. I saw her news on the net. If you're interested, you can read it here..

http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/9AE7AEF9-CA60-49FF-837B-DA590082BCE2.htm

Life is tough for some...I'm thankful for my freedom, for my children, for my home and for my wonderful loving husband. Please be careful if you choose to leave a comment about the above link. thanks.

On another note, I decided to spend a little on a novel. I've not read one in ages, simply coz books here are really expensive. Well, so I bought the book "The Memory Keeper's Daughter." Certainly interesting, captivating.. and a must read in one go. haha.... However, I suppose the ending was a little disappointing... Basically it is about a doctor who helped in the delivery of his own twins. One of the twin had down syndrome, and so he gave it away, and lied to his wife saying the baby had died. This lie comes between him and his wife eventually, and also comes between his relationship with his remaining son. The family begins to fall apart, and the doctor begins to isolate himself, never expressing his love though he intensely loves his wife and son.

Why is it that some man find it so hard to express their love? His isolation caused his wife and son to think that he didn't love them.

Pondering about this fact, I'm thankful that both my husband and father are expressive men, who freely show their love and express it through words. My husband's father though was a quiet, reclusive man who beat his children when he got home. THere were no "i love you's" and no hugs. My husband never knew his dad loved him, till he was about to leave for the US to study. And his dad quietly shoved him some money. He didn't say anything, but his eyes showed for the first time that he cared. That was the only glimpse my husband had of his father's love.

THe book also talks of the heart of the mother...how she nursed the little baby, was so afraid he'd get hurt and die....and gave her whole for him. Yet when he turned a teenage, he seemed so distant, so different and she wondered how the little innocent being whom she had held so close had changed. I ponder about my own relationship with my children...will it change when they become teens? I suppose it will.... but will it grow distant or remain close? I don't know. But I've given up full time working to foster a close relationship with my children... I hope it will pay off.

Yeah, there were moments when I had tears in my eyes while reading the book.

ok...will end here.... though my mind is still slightly troubled...... nevertheless...I have the joy of the Lord which is my strength. :)