Just got back from Gerik, absolutely peaceful town, and 40 mins drive from there is Tasik Banding and Belum National Park. BEAUTIFUL!

Anyway...wanted to write this down before I forget, about an experience at the mall last week. Nel decided she wanted to have one on one time with daddy So off they went, leaving me and Jo to shop for my shoes.

Well, Jo was “great” help at deciding, coz she kept bringing me high heels in striking pink and red, and heels with glitter; instead of the boring conventional black I was looking for.

However, she was great help in other ways. She helped me talk with the sales people. in at least 4 instances at different stores, she went over to the sales person and requested for the size I wanted. Which is size 7, (yes my feet are huge). The reaction of the various sales people were interesting.

The first looked down at her and ignored her. When she repeated “size 7 please”, she frowned and ignored her again. After a third request from Jo, she looked down at my little girl and asked “where is your mother?” Jo pointed in my direction, I looked at the sales lady and mouthed the words “size 7 please!” She promptly went and brough the pair of shoes. Later on, impressed she had conversation with Jo. :)

The second sales person was a man who stared and smiled in Jo in disbelief. He thought it a joke and ignored her. But looking around he saw me staring at him, he pointed at me, and pointed at Jo. I nodded, and he brought me the shoe size I wanted.

The third was a sharp boy. Upon request from Jo, he looked around and saw me. He immediately brought the shoe.

The fourth were 2 men talking together. When they received the request from Jo “size 7 please?” One of them took the shoe, looked at the other and continued chatting and laughing. Perhaps they were laughing at my little girl. She stood there, not moving and repeated “size 7 please”. The looked at her, smiled, said some cute words but did not get the shoe. Finally after a 3rd request from Jo, they realized she wasn’t kidding, looked around and saw me. One of them raised an eyebrow indicating “you want this?” I replied with a nod.
Interesting…why was it so hard for them to bring a size 7 shoe when requested by a little girl? Haha….

Anyway...yeah, recently me and girls watched "The BLind Side". Jo asked a hundred questions, and I threatened to remove her and ground her. I cried buckets of tears and wondered why my Nel was silent as stone. I turned towards her and saw her crying silent tears. Awww...yeah, she's always been the feeling, people person.

Woke this morning, did some dishes left over from last night...and the whole sink got clogged up AGAIN! Got fed up, left dishes in sink and walked away.

Had to get ready for other things. Went up, took a quick shower.
While returning to the kitchen, I heard the sound "SlosH ! SlosH! Slosh!." Wondering what the heck it was, I rushed in to see my Nel, pumping the sink hard with a plunger. hahahaha...oh my, well, that tough little girl UNCLOGGED my sink! Amazing she is! :)

Anyways, in terms of learning...we're into studying continents of the world and body organs. Recently finished an intro to the solar system. not bad. :)

As for Jo.. the little fella woke up this morning and her first thoughts were "Mum, you know what's disgusting?"
I replied "no, what is?"
Jo said seriously "mum, brides are disgusting!"
Surprised, I asked "why???"
she replied "well, because they kiss their husband's mouth on the wedding day, and all the germs from the husband's mouth crawls into the bride's mouth. Disgusting." LoL..oh well...gonna ciao. has been a long day of work. Will rest now, and hope to catch some badminton.

..Sometimes, after the fit of anger has passed,
the wrongs made right,
the mess and chaos tidied up and made orderly again,...

I watch my children fast asleep and deeply regret the things I've said.

I kiss them and whisper "I love you's"
but they can't hear me or feel me..they're fast asleep.
Tomorrow I'll make things right.... I really hope to.

It's amazing, how my little one, after the barage of unkind words spoken by me last night, ran crying to her sister's room, was comforted, and in less than 5 minutes back in my room saying "I love you mummy,...I want mummy, i love you mummy." She said a cute prayer, then fell asleep in my arms. Children forgive so easily...trust so fully...love unconditionally.

Yup...tomorrow I must try to be a better mum...continuously try.

Nel my 8 year old, has a special gift. However, it is not related to science, math, art, music or language. I'm talking about the gift of serving.

Today.. most families here have maids that serve parents and kids!! Many of these kids don't even know how to pour a glass of water for themselves, let alone for others. "kiasuism" is on the rise and i personally think that an over emphasis is being given to scoring for tests, mental math etc etc...all related to school education.

Although education is very important in today's world... I believe that there are other aspects that are equally important, which should not be neglected. eg. a child's character, spiritual growth, sense of others, serving the community etc etc.

Anyway...I'm rambling (it's 1 am). Anyway, back to Nel, whenever we have visitors..she's usually the first to serve them drinks, tidbits and stuff. Her actions always surprise my friends, as one friend recently said while receiving a drink from Nel "my child would never do that!"
I'd to say I was secretly proud of my Nel. :) in fact, heck, she's better than me when it comes to serving.

Even my friend's maids who come by are treated well and served by my little gal. I guess, she really has a special heart for others. Yeah, like a typical 8 year old, she has her days of mischief, temper and stuff, ...but hang around and you'll discover the wonderful heart of giving she has.

ok...back to bed now for me.

tough days

There are days when the area in my throat is tight from nagging, my lips are thinly pursed, and my muscles tensed. Sometimes it can be overwhelming having to juggle children, household chores and work.

There are days when the children seem out of hand, refusing to obey rules, whining and complaining…and I’m trying to drive them so that work can get done, and the house can be neat all before my students arrive in the noon for music classes, particularly before the fussy parent arrives.

Today is such a day. I’ve cleaned the house so many times, yet there are still some toys strewn here and there, and crumbs beneath the study table. Jodie’s changed clothes 4 times today and it’s not even evening yet. I’ve given her several warnings. Danelle’s been day dreaming instead of focusing on work. Piles of laundry await folding and washing. In the kitchen there is a mini flood coz Jodie’s been making drinks again and left a puddle of water in the middle. and right now they're fighting over which movie to watch.

I know, I will not have time to cook dinner again, coz the day is gonna be packed with students and replacements. So I’ll probably throw in some spaghetti with sauce, grab a very quick bite during the very short evening break.Whatever bits of time I have, are minutes snatched in between to pour out my thoughts on the blog, check a little facebook... and sometimes to complete a painting..bits and pieces here and there.

Yeah…some days just seem so unbearable.

Truly without God I might get depressed somedays. But He gives me strength, joy and inspiration when I need it, especially when teaching my own children and other children. For what’s the point of teaching unless I truly love what I’m doing. [and yes, I do love teaching]

Ah yes, He [God] gives me the strength which I need, to juggle all. I guess, He’s given that strength and endurance to most mothers. If we don’t have it, then we need to look to Him and ask, and then it all becomes more bearable.

To my cousin with twins...God is your strength, remember that. love you.

how Jo fell in love with the Cicada

Since my children and I love the outdoors, we decided to have a few days of science in the great outdoors. The focus of the trip would be finding insects and spiders. It was really exciting. Just within one night, and a day outdoors, we (my children and cousins) discovered at least 30-50 different types of insects, spiders, moths, butterflies and birds. Amazing.



During our hunt, I heard the unmistakable sound of the cicada. When we first saw it, it was flying like a mad insect without direction, vertically and horizontally. That frightened the children a little, especially when it went zooming over their heads.



Finally I caught it and asked the children “Who wants to hold the cicada?” Nobody volunteered. Then li'l Jo said “I will.” She held it and was a little taken aback when it buzzed strongly while croaking within her little palms. She let it go immediately but I told her that she was REALLY a VERY brave girl for holding it. Immediately she caught it herself and held it.



It was love at second hold. :)



Jo held that cicada lovingly, talked to it, petted it and we gave it a name, Chica. Then came time to let Chica go, and Jo was really sad. While trekking she kept asking “Mum, does Chica know I miss him? Is he thinking of me? Will he come back to meet me? I miss Chica..”



That evening while walking, we heard a faint sound of a cicada nearby. Jo ran excitedly towards the sound saying “It’s Chica! It’s Chica!” She caught it….but alas, this was a very weak cicada, one that was…dying. Jo noticed how it did not buzz as strongly and how it’s sound was so much weaker. She said “mum, is Chica dying? Mum….he’s sick, he’s dying,….he’s dying…” as the cicada kept calling in a very weak voice. Jo began crying streams of tears… I said “Jo, maybe this is not Chica. Chica has a strong voice, and strong wings…maybe this is a different cicada Jo, but we’ll let it go into the woods.” So I walked a crying Jo to the trees and let the cicada go. She kept crying… “Will it live mum? is it happy I let it go mum? Mum…it’s dying…why is it dying…? Mum..what if it’s Chica? And Chica is dying ?”



We headed home…and then guess what? A strong buzzing cicada flew over us and Jo waited till it landed, held it and shouted “MUM! this is CHICA! It’s CHICA!” …… It still touches me as I recall how gently she talked to that insect. The parting was difficult again with more tears… Then I had to tell her the truth that there were thousands of cicadas… thousands.



That night, heading back to our apartment, Jo ran ahead. We then heard her little voice shouting excitedly “Mum, I caught a firefly!” I didn’t believe her at first and thought she must’ve been mistaken. We caught up with her…and within her little palm, was really a firefly! We took it back to the apartment ..and while the children examined it, it flew up. So we switched off the lights, lay on the floor and watched the firefly showing off it’s beautiful glow. Then somewhere in that moment, the children dozed off one by one…probably with beautiful dreams of the lovely day they’ve had.


I took 100's of shots....too lazy to put all here, but here are just 3 shots.

Wanting to get away from the polluted city life, once again we headed to the forest, this time, much nearer, Templer’s Park.

I’ve always imagined it to be the overcrowded waterfall with filth and stinking toilets everywhere, and have not been there for at least 20 something years. However, a friend called and said he knew a jungle trek there where few people bothered to walk. So we went, the same 8 adults and 11 children. I must say, it was really a beautiful, serene walk in the forest. We trekked 45 minutes along the peaceful meandering stream, heard lots of bird calls, chanced upon a giant millipede and finally arrived at a beautiful waterfall. The best thing was that, we had the WHOLE falls to ourselves. Totally lovely and refreshing! We’ll be back there and have identified a possible camping site. :)

the lovely stream along the trek

lovely tall bamboo along the path

the lowest part of the several tiers waterfall...heard it's 7?

my favourite jacuzzi spot in this waterfall! COLD, shivering STRONG water...totally refreshing. Best part is it has a little space behind the water...


Ab attempting to get behind into the space behind the water. I tried it, and it's shiveringly cold and powerful when the water hits you! brrr....

Abnow almost behind the water in that space. It's an awesome experience. you get to hear the very powerful n LOUD sound of water rushing...while breathing in pure oxygen....while shivering your butt off!


finally, the most awesome thing I saw there..even took a video of it!! it's a blue wasp, called the blue mud dauber I think...and it's injected its venom into the widow spider..and dragging it to its nest! really cool!

Overall...what a wonderful way to learn and observe nature, science in the outdoors...my children love it! :)

MESS MESS!

Tippity tappity tippity tap…move the very quick, light and nimble feet of my daughter Jo. Very frequently when I’m teaching piano and Nel is away at language class, Jo would approach me while asking “what shall I do mum? what shall I do???” and I’d reply in a low, impatient voice “Go do whatever you want…now shoo, go, go.” She’d then usually ask “May I…..” as her voice becomes fuzzy in my mind as I return focus to my student…while simply replying “yes” to whatever she says.

Then…off she’d go, quick as lightning…tippity..tappity tap.

When the day is done, and I’m free…I’m often Surprised, HoRRified, Amused by her creations and MESS she’s created, either in all the rooms upstairs or in the kitchen or bathroom. Last week for instance, she cleared 20 over books off the study table, put a cloth over to build a tent underneath. Underneath the table she placed towels, blankets, and a whole lot of stuff. There were just books and clothes everywhere! Unbelievable mess!

On Fri, I discovered she’d taken out every single sock she could find in the house (my husband’s mine and Nel’s), laid a “jungle trek” from the living room, up the stairs, to the room. In between this “trek” of socks, were strewn all sorts of toys and stuff, bait it seems for Nel to follow the trek. It was MAJOR MESS!

Yesterday I discovered that she and Nel had ferried food stuff from the fridge to the living room, using the bike they brought in from outside. They were picnicking on 2 large towels, and needless to say, there were crumbs and dirt tracks everywhere in the living room.

Some days I’d find her in the shower…and judging by the way the water’s running out of the tub, she’s been in there for at least half hour, having imaginary conversations with her dolls. There would be damp towels on the bathroom floor, EMPTY bottles of soap and shampoo coz she’s bathed her dolls. [she’s done this many times…despite warnings…it’s time for the paddle?]

I won’t even begin to mention the mess in the kitchen and in the FRIDGE! Sometimes I laugh coz it’s so amusing, but most days I put on a stern voice and very firmly make her clear every single bit of mess she’s created. Still I have to do the mopping and vacuuming after she’s cleared up.

What am I gonna do with this child of mine? As I write this, my fridge is a mess coz she’s stuffed it with crackers and sandwiches she’s made for everyone, ice cubes she’s made in diff containers. And now she’s sleeping in an imaginary bed made by Nel underneath the curtains, surrounded by toys. This bed by the way is amazing. Built by Nel it even includes lighting (made by attaching a flashlight to a very long rope tied to the curtains).

Shall I send her to boarding school to reduce the mess in the house? I guess…not an option for now, probably never.... sigh

My grandma passed away last year, but thoughts of her remain fresh in my memory. Grandma was a woman of prayer, a woman of faith. I spent many afternoons with her when I was young as she would babysit us whenever my parents were busy at work.

My favourite memory is of my AhMa in her rocking chair, chuckling at our mischievous antics, and sometimes threatening us with the cane if we got out of hand. :) Often, while fanning herself with the old fashioned paper fan, she'd take out an old chinese calender (the ones where you tear the pages out as the day passes). She'd say in Hokkien "teach me the ABC's" and I would teach her, as she practiced, and struggled especially in pronouncing her R's and L's. She loved to learn, and it's amazing how she's read the whole Bible despite not having proper education during her childhood.

In between all these hours spent with her, she'd spend time reminding us to pray. Prayer before meals was always a lengthy afair. When younger, I could never understand her complicated Hokkien, and never really did....I'd just wait wait and wait till I heard her say Amen, then gladly eat my food.

When I was older I realised that her prayers were lengthy simply coz she'd pray for all her children, naming them one by one (10 children!) and then pray for her grandchildren (22 altogether).

I'll never forget the time before I left for the US to further my studies. I sat with her and listened as she spoke. She said "whatever you do, you must put God first. Always remember to pray (ki-to). Don't ever find a guy who's not a Christian. WHen you find a guy, make sure he's someone who loves the Lord...and remember to come home when you're done. Remember...always kito, kito."

I know that when I was away she prayed for me at least twice a day. I know coz she told me so. Perhaps that is the reason why, when at least 80% of my friends dropped away from church, I kept going. It has to be my grandma and my parents' prayers.

One winter vacation when I visited her, she received me with hugs and kisses and said "come, come eat with me. I've only cooked a simple lunch, come eat with me." before we ate she told me "I pray for all my children and all of you at least 2 times a day. Let's pray first." I sat there, partially understanding her prayer...as she mentioned again the names of her 10 children and 20 over grandchildren one by one.

WHen I came back for good...she prayed that I'd find a good husband (and also tried to matchmake with her friend's grandchildren from church!). She prayed for me...all the time. When she left it was very hard to let her go.... but these words of her remain embedded in my heart till now.... "ki-to, ki-to", pray pray. Whenever I face troubles, worries...I'm reminded "ki-to."

I'm not a perfect mum.... but I hope that I will be able to pass this on to my children...that in all circumstances to remain steadfast in the Lord, to trust in Him...and ki-to, to pray, to pray.

Part of bringing up my children is allowing them to enjoy nature. And thus, we headed for yet another adventure, this time to Endau Rompin, and I can’t stop thinking about the wonderful time we had there. I miss that place. The whole vacation was just absolutely beautiful….beautiful weather, the sound of the gurgling river right beside our camping ground, the singing of the gibbon early in the morning, the funny “three tone” toad as I call it coz of it’s song…the singing of the insects…the cool weather. Magical is how I’d describe the place. Most of all, what made it so beautiful were the people who came along with us.

our campground

We were four families, living together on the same ground, sharing food and water. 10 adults and 11 VERY ENERGETIC LOVELY children. :) The first day was spent just lazing in the refreshing stream followed by a sumptuous meal of BBQ-ed stuff. What followed was shadow theatre, chit chatting and great fun and fellowship.
children doing shadow show :)

Our second day was in every way unforgettable. Based on the advice of the office at Bekok, we decided to track to Takah Berangin since it was only a 2 1/2 km walk, while Takah Tinggi was a 4 km walk. What WRONG advice it was! Later we found out that although Takah Berangin was only 21/2 hours walk, it would take the same duration as the other..total estimated time for both are 2 hours. Reason is that the path to Takah Berangin contained some very steep terrain and is the toughest track from our campground. Can you imagine us, especially 3 and 4 year old Lu and Jo doing that track? Thank GOD, we all MADE IT safely!

We got to the waterfall after a very very tiring and strenuous 3 hours, esp for the children (but which was also exciting with views of a millipede nest, elephant dung, exotic plants and insects!).

one of the many interesting sights along the way. A nest of millipedes

And yes, the waterfall was every bit worth it!!!! Beautiful and windy as it’s name-Takah Berangin! When you get to the centre of the pool you feel a very strong wind blowing, and also natural fish spa! yeap, could not get the fish to stop nibbling my feet! haha..

our guide in the middle of the falls. no photo of me in the falls

The journey back was equally tiring, and half way Jo fell asleep and poor daddy had to carry her.

Lu too fell asleep and Josh had to carry him. Finally ¾ way back, Josh unable to take the stress of carrying Lu any longer, put Lu down, and SLIPPED!!! His shouts and groans that followed were really frightening…. My first thought was that he’d broken his legs, but found out he had sprained BOTH legs! We prayed…fervently, but the guide told us to move on, as we had to get the children back before nightfall or it would get dangerous on the steep descent. We got out safely…and later when Josh finally came out with two walking sticks (GREAT THANKS to DING!) we all cheered and thanked God.

Night was delicious dinner …and the super children still very energetic despite the total tracking time of 6 hours, visited each other’s tents, had more fun doing shadow shows, playing with the torch, building sand castles at night and telling stories. There was so much laughter, so much freedom and joy…all under the beautiful Chap Goh Mei moonlit sky.

refusing to sleep they played late into the night under the clear moonlit sky... So lovely to hear the giggling and laughter of children playing their hearts out..


We didn’t want to leave on the third day and after a hearty breakfast right by the stream…

children feeding the fish before jumping in for a swim later.

we jumped into the stream and stayed every minute of the morning playing in the stream…..till the packing team shouted “TIME TO LEAVE!”.

Then with a heavy sigh and heart, we reluctantly got into dry clothes and headed home. I’ll definitely be there again…… When I asked the children “do you want to come back here again?” they shouted with a unifying “YES!!!!” Ian suggested we should stay for a month! Now I’m not sure if that’s possible! Hahaha….

We parents were definitely proud of our FABULOUS kids who made it through that tough climb to the falls. The guide told us, they were the first group of children he'd ever taken to the falls. Hats off to them! :)

My dad, who made us beautiful, huge, magnificent kites when me and my bro were young, decided he wanted to share his passion for kites with his grandchildren. So he invited us for an evening at Pantai Remis (located near K. Selangor).

The beach there is partly sandy and MOSTLY MUDDY! it's an excellent place to dig for mussels, lalas, cockershells. (oh yeah, fishing too!) Well...my children enjoyed flying kites for a while, but in the end abandoned the kites for something more TEMPTING,--------> MUD! MUD! MUD!I remember warning my children before leaving home "DO NOT WET YOUR CLOTHES!" It never occured to me that the warning should have been "DO NOT GET YOURSELF DIRTY!" and thus this is what happened..............

first muddy hands.....and feet...

then muddy dress..... and the ultimate...muddy spots on face! *uughh!*
So you know, if you have very inquisitive kids who don't mind some/a lot of dirt...beware! haha...Overall, P Remis is an ordinary beach, I give it a rating of C- or D. A little dangerous coz of the cars parked on the beach and Mat Rempits. However, SUNSET there is REALLY beautiful, I think lovely for artists and photographers.!


Nel walking on rocks as the sun sets..

lovely sunset

Anyway, yeah to clean Jo up, we headed to the nice clean toilet with the nice keeper, but it was closed. So we found another one located behind the stalls, where we had to pay 30cents each and 1$ for Jo. The lady was terribly RUDE!As for going back there......I'd say maybe..... but my children would answer with a YES

WE climbed Broga Hill (near Semenyih) on Mon, and my children can't stop talking about it. My children, especially Nel totally loved that trip. We arrived Broga at 7:30am, although ideally 7am would be better coz it gets hot quite early.

the start of the climb. palm oil estate and the jungle in the first 10-15 mins of climb.

Anyway, I discovered that my daughter Nel, and my bro’s 2 older kids are way way fitter than me! They ran while I was taking it step by step. (Man! I’m so UNFIT!) but then again, I had to look after Jo who is not as fast and strong yet, while Ml had to look after Lu. There were times when the 3 older children were a peak ahead of me!

Altogether there are 3 peaks at Broga. I think the longest climb would be the one to first peak.The rest are easier, although the constant climbing can be tiring for an unfit person.

beautiful view from the 1st peak

photo of 2nd peak (taken while resting on 1st peak)


3rd peak! the children's favourite !

Children loved 3rd peak, coz there’s a tiny portion where you have to use ropes to help you over the boulders. They absolutely loved that. As for little Jo who’s not much of a climber, lotsa hugs, encouraging words and snacks got her to the top of 3rd peak too. Thank God for the cold ribena which I’d prepared the night before, that really helped her through. All together we took 3 hours, which included stops for sandwiches, snacks, drinks, and chit-chat on top of second peak with friends. I think Nel would've accomplished it at a much shorter time, coz she was running most of the way.

Coming down was a little more tricky coz the path is mostly sandy, so it was a slippery descent. On certain paths where there were hardly any clear steps, the children took the opportunity to slide down. And mind you, they did it at quite high speed, and thoroughly enjoyed themselves! Almost like sledding on ice! Haha… (I overheard some adults saying “we should try sliding too but none did. Haha..

journey down..

Lastly I think anybody can do Broga, coz even little Lu who’s just 3, made it all the way (but it included several tiny falls) and sheer determination, coz he practically crawled some of the steeper paths and all without complaining too! Bravo him!

Little Lu (my bro's 3 yr old), refused to be carried, and climbed like this most of the journey

Things to bring along if you’ve got young kids joining-

-power drink (ribena), junk food, chocolates, tissue, wet wipes, change of clothes, band-aid, hats, sun block and good shoes.

To cool off after the climb, we proceeded to the waterfall at Hutan Lipur. Very suitable for children as it has a lovely, shallow stream with lots of sand for play.

Then we headed off to the famous ikan bakar (grilled fish) shop located behind the Chinese temple. we were very hungry and ordered about 5 fish cooked Asam, tomyam, spicy bean sauce, steamed and nyonya. Very fresh.

This is the restaurant which serves good ikan bakar in Broga

The children did not want the day to end yet, so we went to Rabbit Funland, (right across from the entrance to Broga Hill) where they fed and petted goats/kids, rabbits, ponies and monkeys. The highlight was watching newborn rabbits….and of course chillin in the hammock with an icecream after a very long long exciting day.

newborn baby rabbits

the wonderful part of working half day is that i get to spend time doin stuff with my children in the mornings. We've decided to pull Jo out from kindy for a while and see how it goes. So far, i think she's quite a self-directed learner.

Yesterday for instance, we started off the day by reading from the Bible (NIV) about Joseph. Having finished, we had some delicous omelette for breakfast. Then she decided to draw some pics. Here's what she drew.

It's a pic of our house, surrounded by fruit trees. See the alphabets on her picture? she decided to label them all, and that in a way is a lesson in writing and phonetics.

The second one is about a little banana who decides to explore the world of trees and fruits. Something she's been interested in lately. He's standing amongst some pineapples while the other trees are smiling at him. there are also squirrel holes on all the trees. THe third tree from the left is a banana tree with smiling bananas! haha..

Then of course, she had to draw her usual Ariel the mermaid, something she's been crazy about for more than a year now!!

Later she told me she wanted to open a shop. So she made this sign, and drew a computer for her shop.

this is the computer which she drew. And she kinda "typed" on it everytime i purchased an item. And it would produce imaginary receipts. haha..

I asked her "what shop would you like to have Jo?" and she told me, "a jewelery shop."

She asked if she could sell some of mine, (haha) and I said "Jo, if you want to earn some money, then you've got to work hard for it. I'm afraid you'll have to make your own."

So we got some beads out, and she made these, a bracelet and a pair of earrings. I helped her knot it at the end. She told me it was hard work. haha....

Finally ready, she placed them between some pillows, which she called her treasure box. She charged me $2 for each item, and when i paid her, she even gave me change! I asked her why, and she said "mum, I'm the seller, so I can lower the price when I want coz I'm a kind seller." :)

Then we read some from Peter and Jane, did a little math. and she went off to play.

Night time, she and Nel requested to be read from the book "The Little Princess" by F. H. Burnett. I highly recommend it. Makes lovely reading and good material for discussion.

and she ended the day by coloring this. Yeah, a good day for a 4 1/2 year old i think.

refusal to go to school

i thought Jodie would fit right in school and have a fun-filled days. She seemed to make friends easily and is a keen learner. Alas...my thoughts were wrong. It's been 3 weeks now, and everyday has been a struggle.

out of 100 5 year olds in that school, my daughter is the only one who wails and clings tightly to me, refusing to let me go, and making me promise to get her early. Why is she the only one? It can't be the system if the other 99 fit in perfectly. I'm beginning to think it's seperation anxiety.... I checked a few links and most said children should settle within 2 weeks.

This week her crying has somewhat worsen. The thing is, when I pick her from school, she's perfectly happy. We go for lunch and then back home. Around 3pm, she starts worrying and asking if she has to go to school the next day, saying "mum...you must promise to pick me up early.." by nightfall, her panic increases... and she will say in between sobs "mum...I will miss you, mum, promise me to pick me early.... mum, the teacher is fierce...but mum, i will miss you, i will miss you, i will miss you......"

yesterday when evening came, she asked "mum, is it night already? why does it turn dark so early mum? mum, when I get up I will miss you...." I told her she had no school on sat. Yet she went to the door, praying aloud... "God, please please, make the day longer so the night won't come so soon. God, please because if night comes too early, I'll have to sleep and in the morning I will miss my mummy...please God..please..." followed by more crying.

what do I do from a psychological point of view? some of the pages say that I must allow my child to face her fears and her fear will reduce eventually. Yet some say it must be treated with care, or it would have a life time impact on her. how do I treat it? if i let her stay home...will I be helping her? or making it worse coz she will never deal with it? ........... does she have seperation anxiety disorder or is this normal?

3 years ago, I wrote about how Nel's crappy swimming teacher shouted at her when she refused to put her head in the water. She was just 5 then. it got to a point where the teacher shouted and shouted while Nel cried torrents of tears. It ended when I furiously marched to the pool side, angry with the teacher, frustrated with Nel.

Somebody wrote, "if an adult teacher cannot imagine how a child feels like when putting her head in the water for the first time, then he should stick his head in a bucket of oil/flour and know how terrifying it can be."

Anyway, when I first pulled her out from that crappy swimming class, several people told me I was being an over protective mother and must learn to toughen up, and let my child face tough moments. Some told me I was gonna create a sissy child and to stop spoiling my child.

I didn't listen to them. I listened to my motherly instincts.

I taught her myself for almost a year to help her overcome the fear of water. Finally when I felt she was ready, I enrolled her in another class with a diff teacher. At first it went ok. Then came time for her to swim a lap by herself. While swimming halfway, she choked and panicked. The teacher grabbed her but asked her to continue. She replied "I can't, i'm too tired, I can't go on."

The teacher insisted "I don't care! you swim to the end!!" Nel replied "I really cannot, please don't make me do it, I cannot."

Instead of being understanding, the teacher raised her voice and shouted "I don't care you swim, you swim, you swim!!!!!"

Nel started crying, and screaming. Then in anger, the teacher threw her into deeper water. I saw my daughter go under several times, gasping for breath. I ran to the pool and shouted for the teacher to stop! She stopped.

I lodged a complain against her, she resigned. Some people thought I was being soft again. but I think, when a child is young, it is a mother's right to protect her child against such mean teachers.

Nel switched teachers for the 3rd time. it's been several months now, and she enjoys it very much. She's done breast stroke and free style (in training now). Her teacher commented yesterday that she was doing very well. With this current teacher, she even overcame her fear of jumping into deep water.

So mothers....I don't think we should teach our children to be "tough" now. I think, when they are young, a teacher's personality matters. I'd prefer my child to enjoy what she's learning, rather than putting up with a mean teacher, just to learn to be tough.

nel swimming

helping out in the kitchen

last week Jojo started kindy. I registered her last Feb and had paid the deposit. It is the kindy that Nel went to, and she had so much fun there so I thought I'd let Jo experience a year or 2 there. Thought of withdrawing this year, but hubby said to give it a shot. So far it's been crying spells every morning! she will turn 5 in August, but everymorning she wakes and tells me "mummy, i'm only 3 years old. mum, i'm too young to go to school, I want to stay with mummy."
ahh...it melts my heart to hear that, and I so feel like withdrawing her immediately. but I guess, I'm gonna try to be strong on this one and wait it through a month and see how she does.

As for the home, my children have taken a greater interest in helping me prepare meals recently. Almost everytime I am in the kitchen, i'd hear Jo or Nel asking "mum, may I help?" So far here's how they've helped out:-

-making the spread for egg sandwich. (danelle knows the ingredients and mixes the whole thing by herself, and Jo is fast learning.)

-buttering the bread

-helping to marinade the chicken/beef before cooking (even Jo knows the ingredients now. :))

-using a butter knife to cut mushrooms, luncheon meat, baked potatoes, papaya, fish cake etc.

-plucking spinach leaves from stalk

- helping to pound garlic

- shredding seaweed

-baking cookies

- scooping food out from the wok after it's cooled down

-making own milo and ribena

I'm sure the list will grow longer as they grow. :)

Of late, the pain in my neck, and back seems worse. I also get these tension headaches almost everyday, and sleep is often disturbed. I've seen a rheumatologist and orthopaedic, and they all say nothing's wrong. So there's nothing wrong? but the pain in my body persists.

I'm now seeing a chiropractor. So far, he's hardly done any chiropractor stuff. What he does is dry needling and trigger point massage.
Dry needling hurts, for me at least. It feels like a needle inserted into a nerve causing a painful sensation. So far, it's been 4 sessions. He says, it'll take a while before I feel any relief, since my pain is rather chronic. Let's pray and hope it will bring relief, coz I'm sick of the pain, really sick of it.
I know, I hardly write like this....I guess, I've come to the limit of what I can bear. I feel tired most days.

Putting that aside, today I taught at the refugee center. What can I say, their struggles are far more than what I've ever endured. Stuck in between nowhere, no legal status, fear of being caught and tortured.... life is certainly not fair for them. For those who've gotten UN approval to go on to new countries, I rejoice with them. For those who are still stuck here.... I pray for them. The children are such eager learners....they absorb stuff like sponges. What a joy to teach them. :)

I hear there is another group nearby. They've requested for help, many children there, and they don't even have food somedays....

Perhaps...if you know some refugee centers near you, you could do something to help. My life is kinda interesting at this point, I still lecture at the university on some days, I have some private students, and then I spend half of the hours teaching orphans and refugees.

As for my children, they come with me when I teach. I think it's good for them. They observe what I do. When we eat with them (the refugees), my children help to serve food to these less fortunate children. Truly it is more blessed to give then to receive.

end of post. I know....mostly rambling. Will end here...raining outside..how lovely :)

English Grey Tea, turned blue

I was doing some water colour painting yesterday when hubby came home. Since hubby was home, I decided to give total focus to my art to catch up for lost time. While I was painting I heard hubby mumbling something like

"My colleague brought back special Grey Tea from England and gave me a satchet to try. I saved it just for you, it's really special."

I mumbled "ok" and continued with my art work. A little later, he brought a lovely warm cup of grey tea and placed it next to me. "Here it is" he said, "try it."

I mumbled "ok" and continued painting.

Hubby disappeared from my sight. I then, *sigh* subconsciously dipped my ENTIRE paint brush, loaded with prussion blue, straight into the precious cup of English Grey tea. Yes, the only sachet of Grey Tea, which his colleague brought back from England, which hubby refused to drink coz he was saving it just for me.

Hubby came by looked at the cup, and I swear, his eyes opened wider than I've ever seen, when he saw the blue spattered all over the top of the tea cup, and dripping into the Grey Tea, turning it into a funny shade of colour. (sheepish grin)

ok, at first, he was a little mad....... and then, we had to laugh and REALLY laugh about it!
Anyway, then I told him, a month ago, I'd bought some Grey tea from Marks and Spencer, and told him, perhaps it might taste the same. So we settled for that. hahaha.....

Mr.L was a very weird, lonely man. He was tall and skinny and bonny. So bonny even his cheeks sank in instead of popping out nicely like red apples. He spoke with a Very loud voice, but funnily he’d tell little kids off for speaking too loudly.

Mr L was never married, he lived alone next door to my parents. All he had were his 5 shirts, 2 pants and a motorbike. We are not sure what furniture he had in his house, coz he’s never invited anyone in. (I know what shirts he had, coz he always washed them and hung them very neatly on the line outside.)

Every morning, Mr L would put on his best work shirt, and his best work pants which were three quarters long, barely reaching to his ankle. Then he’d get on his grumpy motorbike and coax it to start. That darn bike would spitter sputter and choke but would refuse to start till Mr. L did some tinkering and knocking here and there. Then off they’d go to work. Again, I’m not sure what he did for a living, but someone said he sold ice.

In the evenings, Mr L would come back, change to his tattered white singlet with holes here and there; and put on a different pair of three quarter length pants with thread dangling at the end. I’m not sure why his pants were always too short, perhaps he grew taller in his old age (he must be about 50 something) or perhaps his pants shrunk. Then Mr. L would pick up a long sharp stick and go check his barren brown, dry garden for any fallen leaves. He’d pick the leaves one by one, then go outside and sweep the leaves on the ground while mumbling and grumbling about why the government shouldn’t plant trees, for they create unnecessary mess with all the falling leaves.

Once a poor old cat sat in Mr. L’s very hard brown garden. I said poor cat, coz Mr. L picked up a long stick, held it with two hands and raised it above his head. Then slowly with his eyes popping out, he approached the cat, and chased it with all his might out of the garden, across the road and into the next lane. Now, if I was the cat, I’d never step in there EVER. And smart as cats are, none of them ever returned to this garden.

I’m not sure if Mr L ever ate well, but I know he listened to music at nights. Perhaps he had a very old record in his house? For we’d hear Chinese opera or Beethoven’s symphonies blasting ever so loudly, so loudly we’d hear it through the walls of my parent’s house, across the street and several streets down.

One fine day…Mr. L’s bike broke down. It spittered and sputtered as usual, but refused to start. So Mr L had no choice but to cycle to work. Now cycling on the very very busy highway is surely a very dangerous act, especially if the bike is an old rusty one with no reflectors. He met with an accident one day and landed in the hospital for a few days.

Thereafter he became a little afraid of cycling and started to buy parts hoping to build his motorbike again. I’m not sure why he didn’t just buy a brand new one. In the mean time, he had to cycle to work, but more cautiously.

Last week, Mr.L didn’t come home for a few days. We grew worried, but thought perhaps he’d decided to take a break and visit his sisters. My mum worried even climbed over the fence to make sure Mr. L had not fainted in his own house. 6th day came and no Mr. L. Then in the morning, my mum heard a boom on his door and went to see if Mr L had returned.

Alas, no Mr.L but his three sisters. Mr.L met with another accident, and the police only informed his family 3 whole days later. This time,…… Mr. L, did not survive. His sisters did not find anything in his house worth taking, they couldn’t even find the documents to the house in which he lived.Though he was somewhat strange, we will always miss the sounds of him tinkering and knocking the bike, the loud opera music and in a strange way, his loud complaining voice. Rest in peace Mr. L.

vacation

well, the 2 week hols just flew by too quickly. :( We spent 8 days in a quiet cool place with no TV, no Computer and no Radio. Cool huh? haha.... We awoke every morning to fresh misty air coming in through our balcony.

Enjoyed it so much the children were reluctant to even come home. We spent most of our time reading, doing puzzles, jungle trekking (this was when I got stung by a furry caterpillar..yukk and ouch!!!!!!), bird watching, insect hunting, butterfly watching. I must say, my children have turned out to be true nature lovers, or perhaps I've influenced them to be so.

Our longest walk (bird watching) was 3 hours, and I'm proud of my little Jo who walked every step with us. :)

There were days spent at a cool stream where they built sandcastles, and Nel had great fun throwing objects upstream to see the course it would take while flowing downstream. I had fun with that too, and so did her grandpa. hahaha....

I'm just looking forward to the next hols .....but alas they seem so far away.....

now....if I can only find the right remedy to heal the sting. It's 5 days now and it's still swollen, itchy and painful, although the level of pain has subsided.