Raising children..

3 years ago, I wrote about how Nel's crappy swimming teacher shouted at her when she refused to put her head in the water. She was just 5 then. it got to a point where the teacher shouted and shouted while Nel cried torrents of tears. It ended when I furiously marched to the pool side, angry with the teacher, frustrated with Nel.

Somebody wrote, "if an adult teacher cannot imagine how a child feels like when putting her head in the water for the first time, then he should stick his head in a bucket of oil/flour and know how terrifying it can be."

Anyway, when I first pulled her out from that crappy swimming class, several people told me I was being an over protective mother and must learn to toughen up, and let my child face tough moments. Some told me I was gonna create a sissy child and to stop spoiling my child.

I didn't listen to them. I listened to my motherly instincts.

I taught her myself for almost a year to help her overcome the fear of water. Finally when I felt she was ready, I enrolled her in another class with a diff teacher. At first it went ok. Then came time for her to swim a lap by herself. While swimming halfway, she choked and panicked. The teacher grabbed her but asked her to continue. She replied "I can't, i'm too tired, I can't go on."

The teacher insisted "I don't care! you swim to the end!!" Nel replied "I really cannot, please don't make me do it, I cannot."

Instead of being understanding, the teacher raised her voice and shouted "I don't care you swim, you swim, you swim!!!!!"

Nel started crying, and screaming. Then in anger, the teacher threw her into deeper water. I saw my daughter go under several times, gasping for breath. I ran to the pool and shouted for the teacher to stop! She stopped.

I lodged a complain against her, she resigned. Some people thought I was being soft again. but I think, when a child is young, it is a mother's right to protect her child against such mean teachers.

Nel switched teachers for the 3rd time. it's been several months now, and she enjoys it very much. She's done breast stroke and free style (in training now). Her teacher commented yesterday that she was doing very well. With this current teacher, she even overcame her fear of jumping into deep water.

So mothers....I don't think we should teach our children to be "tough" now. I think, when they are young, a teacher's personality matters. I'd prefer my child to enjoy what she's learning, rather than putting up with a mean teacher, just to learn to be tough.

nel swimming