Yellow...

Recently at a children’s party, all the children started asking for the balloons hung up on the walls. There was only one pink balloon, and almost every girl wanted the pink balloon!
N didn’t bother at all. She went to a corner happily by herself, straight for the yellow balloon. Yellow, is her favourite color. Ask her, and she’ll tell you without any hesitation, yellow.

When we went looking for a new bike yesterday, she picked yellow. The man was surprised. He commented to N, "most little girls come in here and pick pink, red or blue. You’re quite different!" In a recent survey I read, it said those who like yellow are usually different in the sense that they dare to be different and have a very creative, different outlook to life.

That’s N I suppose. But with the creativity comes some “difficulty.” Little girls are supposed to be neat and tidy. N is messy..and loves playing with sand, puddles and even mud if given a chance. She's messy when eating too! Little girls sit quietly and do everything teachers say. I’ve seen the other girls in her classes do that. However, N will have moments when she sits and observe and moments when she'd rather do her own things.

In most classes she goes to, the comments are always the same. A very loving girl, smart but mischievous, and sometimes uncooperative. Yes, my daughter is not the soft, gentle submissive kind. She is loving, but sometimes rough. Obedient but sometimes rebellious and mischievous.

We’ve given up on sending her to swimming class. Her cousin called and asked if she’d try ballet. So we gave it a shot today. She went in reluctantly at first, but she survived... ok, she enjoyed.

When all the little girls came out, the teacher commented to each parent “good, very obedient.” Then came my turn and the teacher said “good…but this little one is a little mischievous, I’ve to keep my eye on her.” Ahh…I was expecting that already. In fact, my heart beats overtime when picking her from classes, coz i always wonder what the comments will be for the day. haha...

Looking back, and pondering about my own childhood, between the years of 4 and 7…I was a little mischievous girl too. I got into trouble with teachers. The thing is…most teachers have no time, and cannot stand mischievous children.

But what is life without a little mischief? Boring. That’s what I think. Pondering on why I was I mischievous? I think it was to test limits, to kill boredom, to get a little attention, mind working overtime, to test action and consequence, to be creative (at the expense of others.. )…etc.. many reasons.

I wish N could be the model student in class without that mischief. It would safe me a lot of unnecessary palpitation! haha...Yet, I do not wish for anyone (including my impatient self) to kill that spark of mischief in her. I just hope she will meet understanding teachers along the way who will guide and turn that mischievous or creative spark into something positive instead of killing it. but...yeah, I'd wish she'd be more predictable and obedient in classes. I'm praying hard mums!
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This is later now. I took N to the swimming pool again with her cousin. She entered a little afraid at first, but progressed really quickly today! what she did today, she could not do in swimming class even after so many classes. She actually sticked her whole head under water for about 14 seconds! Then it dawned on her that she could see under water and she got excited! She exclaimed "Mum, I can see your feet and swimming clothes!" I also got her a little submarine which is really cool, coz it speeds under water in all directions, zooming by in unpredictable directions. Her cousin really dived for it, he lives by the pool, so no problem. Well, soon N figured that if she wanted to catch it, she'd have to look under water for it. :) Ah...I'm happy knowing she's slowly overcoming her fear...and it is a big achivement for her. :)
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Upon arriving home N looked at the moon and asked "Mum...can I go to the moon?"

I replied "no dear, only astronauts go to the moon."

"Well then mum" said N, "I want to be an astronaut when I grow up. I want to go to the moon."

"Are you sure?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat in nervousness.

"Yes, mum. I want to be an astronaut"

Well, I know it's just a dream, not real so I don't have to get worried. Then she asked "Mum, will any monsters jump out of the craters on the moon to catch me?"

"No dear, no living things on the moon, just rocks."

"Are you sure mum?"

"Yes dear."

"Mum..sometimes I'm afraid there are monsters..hiding in my toilet"

"Let's pray dear...the Bible says I will not be afraid. Your rod and your staff they comfort me. When you're afraid, pray N, and know there are angels watching you."

I've said it again..but I'll say it again. Life raising children is wonderful but not easy..it's unpredictable..and suddenly how these little ones act and how they feel matter so much, that my own feelings don't really matter so much anymore. It's all about them for now. My children. Oops, must not forget to safe some extra love for hubby too. :) haha...

N and teacher have a shouting match -need your advice

Today..Baby J kept crying "hungry hungry hungry" but refused to eat anything. I felt the monster arising from within me with hot air steaming out of my nostrils as I offered food after food, all of which she refused! Finally got N to do some of her funny dances to entertain Baby J, and that got J eating some food.

By the way, Baby J has learnt the entire Barney farewell song, and she and N have been hugging and kissing each other and kissing me as well while singing the Barney song. :) so cute. You must see them hugging, coz Baby J is only up to N's armpits. hahaha.....

ok...now a more serious matter. N is in her second month of swimming lessons. Yesterday, during her class, the teachers (there are 3) got REALLY frustrated with the fact that N still will NOT put her head into the water after so many classes. The other children are so obedient. I can see that they are equally afraid, but when the teacher tells them to put their heads into the water for 3 seconds...they protest a little, but then obediently do it!

My dear N is different. She will protest and still refuse to do it and try to escape. It came to a shouting point yesterday. The teacher grabbed N, and N kicked the teacher and said "I DON'T LIKE YOU!"
The teacher replied "You may HATE me, but YOU WILL DO IT!" at which point N shouted "No!! I WON'T"
So the teacher held on to N and took her away from the wall and shouted "Look at my EYE, I said LOOK AT MY EYE! LISTEN LISTEN!!" " I WANT you to OBEY me now! If you don't do it, we will stay here till night! Do you want to stay here till night? I will if you don't do it!"
So N shouted "NO, No....I WON'T DO IT!!!"
Teacher's voice gets louder and more shrill as she says "LOok here, DO it! I don't care HOw, YOU JUST DO IT!"

and then, yeah, N breaks out into a loud cry with torrent of tears streaming down her little face.

I watched from afar.....my heart went out to N. I understood her fear. Yet I had mixed feelings...I was envious of all the other obedient children who did it, whether fearfully, shakingly..whatever, but THEY DID IT!"

Finally unable to stand the shouting and crying anymore, I marched up to the pool with my car keys, angry with BOTH the teacher and N. I said "UP N! We're going HOME! No more swimming, no more lessons for you!"

The teacher was stunned, and so was N. N refused to come up and the teacher changed her tone and went on to do kicking instead of forcing N to put her head in the water.

i was furious most of the way home. furious with the impatience of the teacher...frustrated with N. It took me one whole night to get over the overwhelming feelings, while N had a pretty sleepless night as well.

Today I was more calm and told N that we were going swimming again, only I'd be the teacher for today. She was hesitant at first. I brought in some water toys.... pretended to be a diver.... told her that the toys looked different underwater...n if she would peep under the swimming board she'd see the fish hiding with bubbles coming from it's mouth. At first she only peeped for like a split second. GRadually I managed to get her whole head under water for 5 seconds, which is a BIG DEAL! N herself was so overjoyed over her own achievement she shouted with such JOY! :)

I am in a dilemma now...I've paid for her lessons..and there are several more to go.
If I take her out, here are some things I think people will say.
- "If you take her out, she will think that crying is the winning way and crying will get her out of any class she doesn't like."

- "She needs to learn to take orders from other people, and not just you! You should not pull her out or she'll think mum will always rescue her."

- "You can't always protect her, she'll be in school soon where she'll meet some nice and some more strict teachers. Whether she likes them or not, she'll have to face them. Same here, whether she likes the teacher or not, she has to learn and stick with it."

What do you think mums and grandmums? What is the best? Let N stick with it and realise she has to cope or pull her out? I have mixed feelings. :(

I just turned around, and N's fast asleep on the sofa. poor baby....(she's really a very loving little girl..) But I know, she's gonna have to face the real world soon..where people are not always so nice..........

Should I pull her out? or should I just be tough and let her continue till she learns how to cope?

please...let me know what you think.................

I met Dr. Quack at the clinic! Really QUACK DOCTOR!

well...it's been weeks now since the havoc with Baby J's appetite started. Today was just as disastrous. I put her on her chair and she started standing up refusing to even sit. So I let her sit in the adult chair, and offered to her several types of food. There were fish fingers, sweet corn, rice, porridge, potatoes. Well...she refused them all! arrghhh....
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On another note...we're having a fund raising event in July, for a good cause. Well, we've been asked to organize a little band, and I've been appointed as keyboardist. Today was the first practice. It's strange how awkward I felt, and somehow that sense of confidence which I always had wasn't there. It just shows that I've gotta REALLy get back into music...for too much time out can really pull down that sense of confidence. Let's hope this event will boost my confidence a bit, especially with playing in a band.
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And finally, yes, I'm down with the horrible flue too. I went to nearest clinic where there's this really good lady doctor from India. Somehow she was on leave yesterday and another doctor stood in for her. I call him Dr. "Quack" ! This doctor "quack" as I call him, speaks with really thick accent. He looks at you with big bulging eyes, and wears this thick thick moustache which curls upwards. He has messy hair, messy clothings and comes way too close when he talks! Here is the conversation which I had with this doctor last night. Read it and you'll know why I call him Dr. Quack!

"I have the flue doctor...." I said.
He asked me to open my mouth and then said "Ah, your right tonsil is swollen. Oh, then you should drink more soup. Soup will cure you."

"More soup?" I asked

He said "Yes, and add LOTS of salt in the soup. Salt and pepper does wonders."" It'll kill all the bacteria in your throat." he added, shaking his head from side to side to emphasize his words.

I stared at him in disbelief and kept quiet. Then he told me that my blood pressure was really low. So I asked him what I should do about it.

He replied without blinking his eyes, "You have to drink more milk."

"More milk?" I asked again...this time with eyes wide opened.

"Yes, he replied. Milk is good. It'll give you extra oxygen which you need to boost the blood pressure. Milk will carry all the oxygen to your blood stream. You don't know ah? Milk got oxygen what." he said, coming too near to me, eyes popped wide opened.

"Are you sure?" I asked... while staring at his moustache and taking note of his untidy apprearance.

"Yes, yes, milk gives extra oxygen. And take it only in the morning. If you take at night you will grow fat coz when you go to sleep, all your cells, those fellas in your body, go to sleep too." Said the doctor. And then he went on to say "you can take other milk products too, like ice cream, chocolate, chocolate cake, cheese." "Yeah, and take 4 kg's of garlic in a month. That will definitely cure your low blood pressure. Oh, and exercise. Only cycling, swimming is not good, will not cure you. Remember to take lots of garlic." "If all that don't work, go see a doctor."

I wonder why he didn't say "come back and see me."By this time I'm ready to walk out, but my dear husband is really listening to the doctor, coz he is really a patient man who will not offend anybody.

And then my dear husband says, "wow, in that case, I should try to take milk at night, coz I can't seem to put on any weight at all!" (It's true, coz my husband is thin, and I wish I could eat like him and not put on weight! not fair!)
My husband continues by popping a question. "Dr, is it true that the tonsils control your metabolic rate?"

I swear my eyes almost buldged out...and I wonder what the heck was my husband asking? I waited for Dr. "Quack's" reply...and here's how he reacted.
The Doctor took a big, deep breath as if stunned by my husband's question. He gave one, two coughs and cleared his throat loudly. THen he replied ...
"Well...tonsils?? ahem...well.....YES, yes, in some cases tonsils control your metabolic rate and weight...but not in all people...just in some. Yes, tonsils can control your weight."

I'm about to burst out laughing. So I stand up and say "hon, our children are getting impatient, let's go." So we left. He prescribed me lozenges, cough med, antibiotics, anti swelling med, and two more meds which I didn't bother to look at. Later I asked my husband how in the world does tonsils control metabolic weight. My husband realised his mistake. He meant to say thyroid glands.

Anyway, I'm really confused with this Dr now, I've to go find out if there was any truth in anything he said. If I'm to follow his advice, I've to drink lots of salty/peppery soup, take lots of milk, chocolate and ice-cream and only cycle and not swim. And i have to take at least 1 kg of garlic a week. hahaha..... what will happen to me then? ahahahha....

Only CHocolates please Mummy

Baby J has become an increasingly fussy eater. She’s so fussy, I’ve run out of ideas, and cracked and bumped my head against so many walls when it comes to her diet.

On her last check up, doctor said her height was good, but her weight was way below the mid range. So what do I do with Baby J?

You know, when she first started on solids, she loved everything, from rice to noodles to chicken to vegetables and even onions! I was a happy mummy then. Then one day, Baby J decided that she wanted to quit eating baby/toddler/adult food.

One usual lunch time, mama Hearts prepared Baby J’s favourite soup with rice and vege and fish. Usually Baby J would gulp that all up on her own. But that one fine day, Baby J closed her mouth, clammed shut and would not open at all! Surprised, Mummy Hearts decided to prepare porridge instead. Baby J took it for one meal and then decided she would not touch it anymore!

So on and on it went. Over the course of two weeks, Baby Jo eventually rejected most foods she loved. No matter how much Mummy hearts persuaded her, she would only take a bite or two. You should see how Mummy Hearts acts during meal times. It’d be
“Baby Jo, open your mouth…mummy will sing you a song.” Baby J would think about it, and sometimes agree and open her mouth a little. Sometimes Baby J would refuse to cooperate, then mummy would try this technique “Baby J, open your mouth and mummy will make a big lion roaring sound!” Baby J would look at mummy with interest and open her mouth for a bite. Then mummy would give a loud big roar which would amuse Baby J very much! Hahahaha…… Sometimes nothing works!!! At which point mummy hearts gets very upset and her voice gets higher and louder and she stands up and say “OPEN YOUR MOUTH OR GET A SMACK!!!!!”

and nothing happens………… *sigh* so exasperated, she puts Baby J down and gives up.

Well to tell you the truth, actually there’s something that Baby J would open her mouth to eat any time, any day of the year, and that is CHOCOLATES!!! She will not eat biscuits, BUT she WILL have CHOCOLATE biscuits! She will not have any cheese or butter cake, BUT she WILL have CHOCOLATE cake! She Often rejects cereal, but she WILL have CHOCOLATE cereal. Get the drift? She is a CHOCOLATE addict! (chocolates introduced to her by her dear sister N).

This afternoon, Baby J woke up crying from being over tired. But I had to go out on an errand…so I held her and whispered “baby J, wanna go buy some biscuits?” She replied “No…coughing.” So I tried again “Baby J, wanna go buy raisins?” She replied “No, coughing.” “Baby J, wanna go buy sweets?” “No, me coughing” replied Baby J. Finally I asked “Baby J, wanna go buy chocolates?” She opened her eyes wide and replied “ok, go buy chocolate.” Don't get me wrong, I don't give her chocolates everyday, only once a week...the other 6 days, I'm like a mad woman trying to make Baby J eat. *sigh*...

If she could have her way, it’d be Chocolates for breakfast, lunch and dinner. *sigh * Baby J…..I hope you will get out of this and get back to usual meals. By the way, this is the same for drinks. She will not take water now, she will not take grape juice, or Ribena, or apple juice or any of those yummy yoghurt drinks like vitagen or Yakult. If she could have her way, it’d be Mummy’s milk only. And if she refuses all meals during the day, she wakes mummy EVERY hour of the NIGHT to drink milk, which ABSOLUTELY drives this mummy UP the wall! Which is why I have to FORCE her to eat …….. I’ve tried many ways of making her eat. I’ve come to a wall.

J's not been well for 2 weeks now and it is tough. Sleepless nights again.
Anyway, while tending to the kids this afternoon, I received a phone call from hubby. Usually he calls around lunch time to check on how things are going and how kids are doing. So nice that my hubby still does that after 7 years of marriage.

Anyway, so as usual he called again today. Usually he says in a mild tone "hi hon, how's things at home?" Well, today was different, his voice was high, and I could sense the smile on his face on the other side of the phone. And when I said hi, he replied lovingly "Hi Darling!"

Without thinking, I responded by frowning and said "huh? whassup? what's wrong?"
I think he heard the tone of my voice, and sensed my frown. haha.. Then he laughed, and said, "ok,ok, hon, how was your day? "

.... later when I put the phone down, it dawned on me on how I've changed in my attitude when he calls. I used to be all excited...and to hear him call me honey or darling would be like seven heaven. In our years of marriage, the honey, became hon. And eventually "hon-ah". (It's M'sian to sometimes add the word "ah" at the back when calling someone.) So my name has become "Hun-nah." hahaha....

So today hearing him call me "darling".....was just surprising. It took me by surprise and I reacted by being unresponsive and unfriendly. .....oh boy,, I'm disappointed with myself. I should have whispered back "Yes, darling, how are you? I miss you." I'm sure that would've made his day instead of the "what's wrong?" reaction. haha..

*sigh* I must learn to be romantic again. Somehow...being with children all day long takes the romance out of my stride! I suppose the animation below summarizes what I did to his attempt at being romantic or loving. May I learn to be more loving next time. Actually i NEED to change and be a more loving wife when he calls or come home, instead of being so into the children. I know my husband would appreciate some extra loving from me. Tips tips ladies, any tips for me?

Factual info on armpit hair

ok, RB, I waited and you didn't do your homework. I was just itching for more knowledge on the armpit hair matter. Ok, to be more civilized, let's say underarms. haha...... So not being able to wait any longer, I googled "Why Women Shave" expecting to find some pornographic sites. But WALLA, I found these bits of useful information! wow! looks like the Phd degree is on the way! hahaa....So Read on, if you're as interested in it as I am. haha... Have fun!

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Ok, first I read about the underarm at Wikipedia-Underarm. Talks of how the hair grows with onset of puberty, and it's relation to intensification of sex drive due to blah blah. (some men have agreed with this..which is why some women don't shave.) Then they talk about religous aspects, cultural etc. and how it is not so common in some countries such as China and East Europe. I agree with that...coz I've seen China girls with errr......underarms hair. Click on link if you wanna read more.

As for history of shaving, particularly in the West, here is an excerpt, taken from The Straight Dope. A Straight Dope Classic from Cecil's storehouse of human knowledge Who decided women should shave their legs and underarms? 06-Feb-1991

"U.S. women were browbeaten into shaving underarm hair by a sustained marketing assault that began in 1915. (Leg hair came later.)The aim of what Hope calls the Great Underarm Campaign was to inform American womanhood of a problem that till then it didn't know it had, namely unsightly underarm hair. To be sure, women had been concerned about the appearance of their hair since time immemorial, but (sensibly) only the stuff you could see. Prior to World War I this meant scalp and, for an unlucky few, facial hair.Around 1915, however, sleeveless dresses became popular, opening up a whole new field of female vulnerability for marketers to exploit.According to Hope, the underarm campaign began in May, 1915, in Harper's Bazaar, a magazine aimed at the upper crust. The first ad "featured a waist-up photograph of a young woman who appears to be dressed in a slip with a toga-like outfit covering one shoulder. Her arms are arched over her head revealing perfectly clear armpits. The first part of the ad read `Summer Dress and Modern Dancing combine to make necessary the removal of objectionable hair.'"Within three months, Cook tells us, the once-shocking term "underarm" was being used. A few ads mentioned hygiene as a motive for getting rid of hair but most appealed strictly to the ancient yearning to be hip. "The Woman of Fashion says the underarm must be as smooth as the face," read a typical pitch.The budding obsession with underarm hair drifted down to the proles fairly slowly, roughly matching the widening popularity of sheer and sleeveless dresses. Antiarm hair ads began appearing in middlebrow McCall's in 1917. Women's razors and depilatories didn't show up in the Sears Roebuck catalog until 1922, the same year the company began offering dresses with sheer sleeves. By then the underarm battle was largely won. Advertisers no longer felt compelled to explain the need for their products but could concentrate simply on distinguishing themselves from their competitors.

Cecil's colleague Marg Meikle (Dear Answer Lady, 1992) notes that Greek statues of women in antiquity had no pubic hair, suggesting that hairlessness was some sort of ideal of feminine beauty embedded in Western culture. If so, a lot of Western culture never got the message. Greek women today (and Mediterranean women generally) do not shave their hair. The practice has been confined largely to English-speaking women of North America and Great Britain, although one hears that it's slowly spreading elsewhere.

Here's hoping some all-but-thesis Ph.D. candidate will pick up the trail." --CECIL ADAMS

(ahem RB, wanna take this Phd offer up?)

Finally, if you wanna really know how it all started, from the simple use of sea shells to strange concoctions made my women to get rid of bodily hair, read here. The Shaving Historical TimeLine

armpit hair

Rb text messaged me today asking why men have nipples when they don't have to breastfeed? I told her I didn't know why, perhaps to look sexy for women? well, she thinks it's to regulate their temperature. hmm..... She also wonders why women with triplets don't have three breasts.

Then I asked her why God gave us armpit hairs only to have us remove them? So she told me she'd do a blog on that. I'm waiting for it Rb! In the mean time, here are my questions for you Rb and any women out there.

1) What is the function of the armpit hair?

2) If removed, does it affect the body in anyway? Is there a consequence to health or body odour?

3) Who was the first woman to remove her armpit hair? In which century did she live? Why did she do it? coz of what somebody said? to please someone? for health reasons? too hot in her country?

4) Before the invention of tweezers, wax and shavers, how did women remove their armpit hair? Yank them off? YOUCH!!

5) Do men find women sexier with it or without? I know in France, men find women with armpit hair sexier. Right? well...once I was on Perhentian Island, and there were lotsa women from Europe there with armpit hair. I kinda had to stare at them...I didn't mean too, but it was weird seeing women with stuff hanging from under their arms.

I also had a guy friend once who was watching world skating competition with me, and when the lady skater lifted her arms, he exclaimed "Where's her armpit hair?????? She loooks weird without them!" I calmly asked if he'd been living in the jungle all this while.

Ok, is there a research on this already? otherwise I might consider doing my Phd on this with the help of you Rb! hahaha....

Was my last post too depressing? Sometimes I fear too much don't I? I tend to think too much. Am I paranoid? or is it normal for mothers to think that way sometimes? tell me mothers...if you think I'm worrying for nothing, or if you sometimes feel this way too?

Anyway, here's something not depressing. :) Have you ever brought your child with you on a date with your husband? I have. Last valentines. It was a disaster. Coz while everyone else were a couple, we were FOUR! and while other couples were looking into each other's eyes, yeah, with that teary, glittery eyes that seem to gaze into eternity.... bodies hunched forward, fingers lightly touching...whispering sweet words........

there we were, the four of us!! Forget looking into my husband's eyes. All my attention were on the children less they should break some of the expensive plates and glasses on the dining table! Baby J had the spoons and forks clanging on the tables....which really spoiled the atmosphere..(I know, coz I had a few unhappy glares from couples nearby), N was chattering away and sometimes singing loudly....

Ooh, then the apetizers arrived. If you're a mum, you know the mess they make when they feed themselves!!! Aarrrghhhh..... the clean carpeted floor gradually turned yukky with bits of this and that which dropped from J and N's seats. (more nasty stares). Then the main course arrived. I had ordered this succulent piece of steak with creamy, slighty spicy special mushroom sauce topping. yummm....... the smell is.......arrghhhh....enough to make me salivate thinking about it now. So, smiling at my husband, I picked up my carving knife and fork...ready to take a bite of the steak...when N uttered these words "MUM, I WANT TO PANGSAI NOW!!..CANNOT WAIT ALREADY! Oohh...ahhh...........(while moving her bum to express the urgency of it all)." (translation: Mum, I need to poop now!)

urrrghhhhh.....after taking her to the ladies and cleaning her all up. That tempting piece of steak somehow, did not smell or look or taste as delicous anymore. Well, for one, I cannot even look at the sign "toilet" during meal times, let alone step into one. My imagination runs wild.

So next time, if it's valentines or anniversary, the kids will stay home with grandma!! and let me be the one to give nasty stares to other people who bring children. hahaha....

It's difficult not to get depressed after reading the papers nowadays. Did you read the link I posted a few days back? Today the papers talked about how churches in Indonesia are being forced to shut down at an alarming rate.... or risk being attacked. What's going on in the world?

I stood gazing out of my window just before deciding to blog. Babies are asleep... Yeah, I was trying to listen to the night sounds. I still hear the familiar crickets... but nothing much more. THe air is much hotter than it was 20 years back. Everynow and then, the peace is broken by some idiot speeding on a bike or race car. THings have changed at such a radical speed.

2o years back, this place was covered with lush green forest. Now, people are debating, holding emergency conferences about global warming. I read today that the top 3 countries responsible for the impending doom of the earth's climate and ozone are the USA, Indonesia and China. And what was China's response? They said they don't care, as long as their economy keeps booming! My gosh! people are just getting so selfish!

Sorry my thoughts are rather incoherent? or just fuddled duddled muddled today. but...things are changing too fast, I can't even grasp it and it's just falling out of my hands like sand. Change in weather, rising divorce rates, wars between religion and people groups, rise in drug addiction and pornography, downfall of family as teens and young adults adopt a lifestyle of "cohabitating", legalization of prostitution in some parts of the world, rise of same sex marriages, MTV, mass murders, suicides..... my gosh..........the list is endless. It wasn't this way 20 years back. It was simple, SAFE, and the family unit was strong. Now everything that I hold to be true and good is under attack. All this happened in just 2o years. If the world can deteriorate so much in just so few years...........what kind of future can I hope for my children?

There's no place left to run. Every country has it's own problems, ranging from threats from extremists to undesirable culture and lifestyle..........

Is there a safe place left in the world? A place where good morals and values still dominate? tell me where it is? I wanna go there.......for the sake of my children.....................

By the way, I like this quote "Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children. We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children." Ancient Indian Proverb.

....safe our world....for our children...........please................

There is an offer for a full time position available to me whenever I Want to take it. Sometimes it is tempting to take up that offer, especially when the pocket gets tight. It’s hard sometimes going to the mall and watching the “dressy” ladies/datins splurge on all the branded clothing and bags and accessories. They open their wallets big for all to see and take their time in picking the big dollar notes or they take time in deciding which credit card they would like to use. I often hear them telling the sales customer “wait ah, let me see….should I use this one, or this one or this one….hahaha…..my husband pay for all one lar.”

Sometimes I become a little envious, because unlike them, I go to the mall with a tight budget in hand, like maybe 200RM. I go with a specific mission. Like today, the mission was “get a birthday present for dad, and one for grandma.” I entered the mall…and there was the word “SALES SALES SALES” everywhere!!!!!!! It just came booming on my weak brains and will power…and I felt the magnetic pull towards some of the shops. Without thinking twice, I bought myself that wonderful fragrant shower gel and cream from Body Shop. After paying, I moaned quietly, as I remembered my tight budget!

It’s strange…but going with a tight budget is so hard to keep! I have to fight my wants ever so often, and swallow my saliva more often coz I’m salivating while window shopping! :) Often I end up blowing it (my budget) by buying things I shouldn’t be buying. Then, I have no choice but to proceed to the ATM machine to draw more cash to pay for the items that I WAS supposed to buy. And after withdrawing the money, I remember that I did that JUST last week…and so I’ve overdrawn for the month and blown my goal of saving at least xxxx amount of money this month. So I go home with a sigh and regrets for blowing my budget. I get flashbacks of all the ladies with many shopping bags and become envious of their big spending POWER, either coz they have very rich husbands, or they have very bad credit card debts (which they don’t give a d*** about) or because they have high paying jobs.

As for me, I don’t have a very rich husband, (though a very loving one), I don’t own a credit card (I’ve cut it up), and neither do I own a high paying job. I only work part time, and that’s only enough to pay for basic necessities and a little extra for children’s books and stuff. (ok...and some earrings every now n then......i can't resist earrings)

SO what do I do? Take the carrot and go back to the full time job? At least that guarantees fixed income every month, which is certainly better than the amount I get now. But what about the kids? My mum can’t look after them everyday of the week! SO I’d have to throw them in some baby sitter’s place, let them grow accustom to the habits and lifestyle of the baby sitter and say “kiddos, from now on, instead of looking at you all 12 hours a day, it’ll just be 2 or 3 hours a day.” Have fun!

Arrrghhh……….sometimes the decision is tough. There are women who make it big on career and loose their families, but there are also those who are successful both at work and home. But best is a mum with a flexible career so she can have time with kids. Hey wait a minute! I have a flexible job, and I have time with kids. Wow! So maybe I should just go to the mall less and be thankful that I have both in my hands. *sigh* “Lord, remind me to be thankful for what I have….though Lord, ummm….I wouldn’t mind a little pay rise? Thank you.”