Today..Baby J kept crying "hungry hungry hungry" but refused to eat anything. I felt the monster arising from within me with hot air steaming out of my nostrils as I offered food after food, all of which she refused! Finally got N to do some of her funny dances to entertain Baby J, and that got J eating some food.
By the way, Baby J has learnt the entire Barney farewell song, and she and N have been hugging and kissing each other and kissing me as well while singing the Barney song. :) so cute. You must see them hugging, coz Baby J is only up to N's armpits. hahaha.....
ok...now a more serious matter. N is in her second month of swimming lessons. Yesterday, during her class, the teachers (there are 3) got REALLY frustrated with the fact that N still will NOT put her head into the water after so many classes. The other children are so obedient. I can see that they are equally afraid, but when the teacher tells them to put their heads into the water for 3 seconds...they protest a little, but then obediently do it!
My dear N is different. She will protest and still refuse to do it and try to escape. It came to a shouting point yesterday. The teacher grabbed N, and N kicked the teacher and said "I DON'T LIKE YOU!"
The teacher replied "You may HATE me, but YOU WILL DO IT!" at which point N shouted "No!! I WON'T"
So the teacher held on to N and took her away from the wall and shouted "Look at my EYE, I said LOOK AT MY EYE! LISTEN LISTEN!!" " I WANT you to OBEY me now! If you don't do it, we will stay here till night! Do you want to stay here till night? I will if you don't do it!"
So N shouted "NO, No....I WON'T DO IT!!!"
Teacher's voice gets louder and more shrill as she says "LOok here, DO it! I don't care HOw, YOU JUST DO IT!"
and then, yeah, N breaks out into a loud cry with torrent of tears streaming down her little face.
I watched from afar.....my heart went out to N. I understood her fear. Yet I had mixed feelings...I was envious of all the other obedient children who did it, whether fearfully, shakingly..whatever, but THEY DID IT!"
Finally unable to stand the shouting and crying anymore, I marched up to the pool with my car keys, angry with BOTH the teacher and N. I said "UP N! We're going HOME! No more swimming, no more lessons for you!"
The teacher was stunned, and so was N. N refused to come up and the teacher changed her tone and went on to do kicking instead of forcing N to put her head in the water.
i was furious most of the way home. furious with the impatience of the teacher...frustrated with N. It took me one whole night to get over the overwhelming feelings, while N had a pretty sleepless night as well.
Today I was more calm and told N that we were going swimming again, only I'd be the teacher for today. She was hesitant at first. I brought in some water toys.... pretended to be a diver.... told her that the toys looked different underwater...n if she would peep under the swimming board she'd see the fish hiding with bubbles coming from it's mouth. At first she only peeped for like a split second. GRadually I managed to get her whole head under water for 5 seconds, which is a BIG DEAL! N herself was so overjoyed over her own achievement she shouted with such JOY! :) 
I am in a dilemma now...I've paid for her lessons..and there are several more to go.
If I take her out, here are some things I think people will say.
- "If you take her out, she will think that crying is the winning way and crying will get her out of any class she doesn't like."
- "She needs to learn to take orders from other people, and not just you! You should not pull her out or she'll think mum will always rescue her."
- "You can't always protect her, she'll be in school soon where she'll meet some nice and some more strict teachers. Whether she likes them or not, she'll have to face them. Same here, whether she likes the teacher or not, she has to learn and stick with it."
What do you think mums and grandmums? What is the best? Let N stick with it and realise she has to cope or pull her out? I have mixed feelings. :(
I just turned around, and N's fast asleep on the sofa. poor baby....(she's really a very loving little girl..) But I know, she's gonna have to face the real world soon..where people are not always so nice..........
Should I pull her out? or should I just be tough and let her continue till she learns how to cope?
please...let me know what you think.................
UPM Milking Farm and Museum of Anatomy
11 years ago
After talking with hubby...we decided to let her try one more session and see how it goes. But first, I'll have to persuade her...coz I just have to mention swimming class and she starts to say "no..no..." She's developed some kinda phobia towards the class.
ReplyDeleteLet's see how it goes next week...
Hi Hearts,
ReplyDeletePlease don't pushed hard,she is only young.My son was same as your daughter that he doesn't want to have a wet on his face,everytime into the swimming pool that he came up to the surface and needed to wipe off the water from his face..it hardly staying in the pool. One day his dad trying to teaching to how he can diving the pool (our swimming pool) he drops one of his favorite toys...there he tryout to get it.
Other thing was trying to a spray water on his face (not too hard) in end he doesn't mind to got wet on his face ..don't give it up. Mum needed to be the patience with her. best way you go with her other swimming pool with out teacher for a while? Good luck! Love Michiko
Ciao Hearts,
ReplyDeleteAwww, I feel so sorry for N. I think that you did the right thing really by taking her out. Sounds like the teacher was trying to scare poor N by yelling at her and scaring her, that is really no way to be teaching children esp in swimming where you do not feel comfortable in water...but there are many other ways to get children to do things for you, as you did with her in swimming... way to go Mom... ha ha. Maybe you could try another swimming teacher if Baby N likes to swim.
But for me, I just think that the teacher was really too hard on her.
Thanks for your visit and also comments... it is always so good to see you stop in.
Wishing you a great Sunday, and also a great week to follow...
God Bless You My Dear Friend.
Hugs & Kisses
Love
Shelley
xXx
You are such a good mother, Hearts. You did the right thing taking her out of that class. You taught her in a patient, loving way and she responded. I don't know if it is different in your country but an instructor would never speak that way to students, in my country if the parents were observing. Maybe they would if the parents weren't but I would hope not.
ReplyDeleteHave you asked N why she doesn't like that class? I believe that making her continue might be more trouble than what it is worth. That instructor makes me so angry that I want to fly out there and give her a piece of my mind! How dare she speak to my niece-in-love that way!
Continue to do as you have been doing and, if she is really traumatized by the next class then you and your dh will do the right thing. I am sure of it.
love, g
I think that you did the right thing by N in intervening on a teacher who was out of control ...this showed N that you care about how she is treated and that it is not acceptable for an adult to speak to a child in that way .good on you for taking the next lesson and making it fun for N to do waht she had to do .good decision on going back again ..it will not be easy but you can do it my dear !
ReplyDeleteon the eating /not eating front ..try placing a mirror so J can see how clever she is eating her food ..Fergus likes this ,as have many other children that I have minded over the years
love and blessings to a good mum who defends the rights of her children x
Sounds like you have been having a lot of fun with your daughters. All children go through a stubborn stage. When a teacher is out of control they need to be sat down and taught a lesson.
ReplyDeletePeace 7 Blessings.
rwc