Raising children..

There is an offer for a full time position available to me whenever I Want to take it. Sometimes it is tempting to take up that offer, especially when the pocket gets tight. It’s hard sometimes going to the mall and watching the “dressy” ladies/datins splurge on all the branded clothing and bags and accessories. They open their wallets big for all to see and take their time in picking the big dollar notes or they take time in deciding which credit card they would like to use. I often hear them telling the sales customer “wait ah, let me see….should I use this one, or this one or this one….hahaha…..my husband pay for all one lar.”

Sometimes I become a little envious, because unlike them, I go to the mall with a tight budget in hand, like maybe 200RM. I go with a specific mission. Like today, the mission was “get a birthday present for dad, and one for grandma.” I entered the mall…and there was the word “SALES SALES SALES” everywhere!!!!!!! It just came booming on my weak brains and will power…and I felt the magnetic pull towards some of the shops. Without thinking twice, I bought myself that wonderful fragrant shower gel and cream from Body Shop. After paying, I moaned quietly, as I remembered my tight budget!

It’s strange…but going with a tight budget is so hard to keep! I have to fight my wants ever so often, and swallow my saliva more often coz I’m salivating while window shopping! :) Often I end up blowing it (my budget) by buying things I shouldn’t be buying. Then, I have no choice but to proceed to the ATM machine to draw more cash to pay for the items that I WAS supposed to buy. And after withdrawing the money, I remember that I did that JUST last week…and so I’ve overdrawn for the month and blown my goal of saving at least xxxx amount of money this month. So I go home with a sigh and regrets for blowing my budget. I get flashbacks of all the ladies with many shopping bags and become envious of their big spending POWER, either coz they have very rich husbands, or they have very bad credit card debts (which they don’t give a d*** about) or because they have high paying jobs.

As for me, I don’t have a very rich husband, (though a very loving one), I don’t own a credit card (I’ve cut it up), and neither do I own a high paying job. I only work part time, and that’s only enough to pay for basic necessities and a little extra for children’s books and stuff. (ok...and some earrings every now n then......i can't resist earrings)

SO what do I do? Take the carrot and go back to the full time job? At least that guarantees fixed income every month, which is certainly better than the amount I get now. But what about the kids? My mum can’t look after them everyday of the week! SO I’d have to throw them in some baby sitter’s place, let them grow accustom to the habits and lifestyle of the baby sitter and say “kiddos, from now on, instead of looking at you all 12 hours a day, it’ll just be 2 or 3 hours a day.” Have fun!

Arrrghhh……….sometimes the decision is tough. There are women who make it big on career and loose their families, but there are also those who are successful both at work and home. But best is a mum with a flexible career so she can have time with kids. Hey wait a minute! I have a flexible job, and I have time with kids. Wow! So maybe I should just go to the mall less and be thankful that I have both in my hands. *sigh* “Lord, remind me to be thankful for what I have….though Lord, ummm….I wouldn’t mind a little pay rise? Thank you.”