tough days

There are days when the area in my throat is tight from nagging, my lips are thinly pursed, and my muscles tensed. Sometimes it can be overwhelming having to juggle children, household chores and work.

There are days when the children seem out of hand, refusing to obey rules, whining and complaining…and I’m trying to drive them so that work can get done, and the house can be neat all before my students arrive in the noon for music classes, particularly before the fussy parent arrives.

Today is such a day. I’ve cleaned the house so many times, yet there are still some toys strewn here and there, and crumbs beneath the study table. Jodie’s changed clothes 4 times today and it’s not even evening yet. I’ve given her several warnings. Danelle’s been day dreaming instead of focusing on work. Piles of laundry await folding and washing. In the kitchen there is a mini flood coz Jodie’s been making drinks again and left a puddle of water in the middle. and right now they're fighting over which movie to watch.

I know, I will not have time to cook dinner again, coz the day is gonna be packed with students and replacements. So I’ll probably throw in some spaghetti with sauce, grab a very quick bite during the very short evening break.Whatever bits of time I have, are minutes snatched in between to pour out my thoughts on the blog, check a little facebook... and sometimes to complete a painting..bits and pieces here and there.

Yeah…some days just seem so unbearable.

Truly without God I might get depressed somedays. But He gives me strength, joy and inspiration when I need it, especially when teaching my own children and other children. For what’s the point of teaching unless I truly love what I’m doing. [and yes, I do love teaching]

Ah yes, He [God] gives me the strength which I need, to juggle all. I guess, He’s given that strength and endurance to most mothers. If we don’t have it, then we need to look to Him and ask, and then it all becomes more bearable.

To my cousin with twins...God is your strength, remember that. love you.

how Jo fell in love with the Cicada

Since my children and I love the outdoors, we decided to have a few days of science in the great outdoors. The focus of the trip would be finding insects and spiders. It was really exciting. Just within one night, and a day outdoors, we (my children and cousins) discovered at least 30-50 different types of insects, spiders, moths, butterflies and birds. Amazing.



During our hunt, I heard the unmistakable sound of the cicada. When we first saw it, it was flying like a mad insect without direction, vertically and horizontally. That frightened the children a little, especially when it went zooming over their heads.



Finally I caught it and asked the children “Who wants to hold the cicada?” Nobody volunteered. Then li'l Jo said “I will.” She held it and was a little taken aback when it buzzed strongly while croaking within her little palms. She let it go immediately but I told her that she was REALLY a VERY brave girl for holding it. Immediately she caught it herself and held it.



It was love at second hold. :)



Jo held that cicada lovingly, talked to it, petted it and we gave it a name, Chica. Then came time to let Chica go, and Jo was really sad. While trekking she kept asking “Mum, does Chica know I miss him? Is he thinking of me? Will he come back to meet me? I miss Chica..”



That evening while walking, we heard a faint sound of a cicada nearby. Jo ran excitedly towards the sound saying “It’s Chica! It’s Chica!” She caught it….but alas, this was a very weak cicada, one that was…dying. Jo noticed how it did not buzz as strongly and how it’s sound was so much weaker. She said “mum, is Chica dying? Mum….he’s sick, he’s dying,….he’s dying…” as the cicada kept calling in a very weak voice. Jo began crying streams of tears… I said “Jo, maybe this is not Chica. Chica has a strong voice, and strong wings…maybe this is a different cicada Jo, but we’ll let it go into the woods.” So I walked a crying Jo to the trees and let the cicada go. She kept crying… “Will it live mum? is it happy I let it go mum? Mum…it’s dying…why is it dying…? Mum..what if it’s Chica? And Chica is dying ?”



We headed home…and then guess what? A strong buzzing cicada flew over us and Jo waited till it landed, held it and shouted “MUM! this is CHICA! It’s CHICA!” …… It still touches me as I recall how gently she talked to that insect. The parting was difficult again with more tears… Then I had to tell her the truth that there were thousands of cicadas… thousands.



That night, heading back to our apartment, Jo ran ahead. We then heard her little voice shouting excitedly “Mum, I caught a firefly!” I didn’t believe her at first and thought she must’ve been mistaken. We caught up with her…and within her little palm, was really a firefly! We took it back to the apartment ..and while the children examined it, it flew up. So we switched off the lights, lay on the floor and watched the firefly showing off it’s beautiful glow. Then somewhere in that moment, the children dozed off one by one…probably with beautiful dreams of the lovely day they’ve had.


I took 100's of shots....too lazy to put all here, but here are just 3 shots.

Wanting to get away from the polluted city life, once again we headed to the forest, this time, much nearer, Templer’s Park.

I’ve always imagined it to be the overcrowded waterfall with filth and stinking toilets everywhere, and have not been there for at least 20 something years. However, a friend called and said he knew a jungle trek there where few people bothered to walk. So we went, the same 8 adults and 11 children. I must say, it was really a beautiful, serene walk in the forest. We trekked 45 minutes along the peaceful meandering stream, heard lots of bird calls, chanced upon a giant millipede and finally arrived at a beautiful waterfall. The best thing was that, we had the WHOLE falls to ourselves. Totally lovely and refreshing! We’ll be back there and have identified a possible camping site. :)

the lovely stream along the trek

lovely tall bamboo along the path

the lowest part of the several tiers waterfall...heard it's 7?

my favourite jacuzzi spot in this waterfall! COLD, shivering STRONG water...totally refreshing. Best part is it has a little space behind the water...


Ab attempting to get behind into the space behind the water. I tried it, and it's shiveringly cold and powerful when the water hits you! brrr....

Abnow almost behind the water in that space. It's an awesome experience. you get to hear the very powerful n LOUD sound of water rushing...while breathing in pure oxygen....while shivering your butt off!


finally, the most awesome thing I saw there..even took a video of it!! it's a blue wasp, called the blue mud dauber I think...and it's injected its venom into the widow spider..and dragging it to its nest! really cool!

Overall...what a wonderful way to learn and observe nature, science in the outdoors...my children love it! :)

MESS MESS!

Tippity tappity tippity tap…move the very quick, light and nimble feet of my daughter Jo. Very frequently when I’m teaching piano and Nel is away at language class, Jo would approach me while asking “what shall I do mum? what shall I do???” and I’d reply in a low, impatient voice “Go do whatever you want…now shoo, go, go.” She’d then usually ask “May I…..” as her voice becomes fuzzy in my mind as I return focus to my student…while simply replying “yes” to whatever she says.

Then…off she’d go, quick as lightning…tippity..tappity tap.

When the day is done, and I’m free…I’m often Surprised, HoRRified, Amused by her creations and MESS she’s created, either in all the rooms upstairs or in the kitchen or bathroom. Last week for instance, she cleared 20 over books off the study table, put a cloth over to build a tent underneath. Underneath the table she placed towels, blankets, and a whole lot of stuff. There were just books and clothes everywhere! Unbelievable mess!

On Fri, I discovered she’d taken out every single sock she could find in the house (my husband’s mine and Nel’s), laid a “jungle trek” from the living room, up the stairs, to the room. In between this “trek” of socks, were strewn all sorts of toys and stuff, bait it seems for Nel to follow the trek. It was MAJOR MESS!

Yesterday I discovered that she and Nel had ferried food stuff from the fridge to the living room, using the bike they brought in from outside. They were picnicking on 2 large towels, and needless to say, there were crumbs and dirt tracks everywhere in the living room.

Some days I’d find her in the shower…and judging by the way the water’s running out of the tub, she’s been in there for at least half hour, having imaginary conversations with her dolls. There would be damp towels on the bathroom floor, EMPTY bottles of soap and shampoo coz she’s bathed her dolls. [she’s done this many times…despite warnings…it’s time for the paddle?]

I won’t even begin to mention the mess in the kitchen and in the FRIDGE! Sometimes I laugh coz it’s so amusing, but most days I put on a stern voice and very firmly make her clear every single bit of mess she’s created. Still I have to do the mopping and vacuuming after she’s cleared up.

What am I gonna do with this child of mine? As I write this, my fridge is a mess coz she’s stuffed it with crackers and sandwiches she’s made for everyone, ice cubes she’s made in diff containers. And now she’s sleeping in an imaginary bed made by Nel underneath the curtains, surrounded by toys. This bed by the way is amazing. Built by Nel it even includes lighting (made by attaching a flashlight to a very long rope tied to the curtains).

Shall I send her to boarding school to reduce the mess in the house? I guess…not an option for now, probably never.... sigh

My grandma passed away last year, but thoughts of her remain fresh in my memory. Grandma was a woman of prayer, a woman of faith. I spent many afternoons with her when I was young as she would babysit us whenever my parents were busy at work.

My favourite memory is of my AhMa in her rocking chair, chuckling at our mischievous antics, and sometimes threatening us with the cane if we got out of hand. :) Often, while fanning herself with the old fashioned paper fan, she'd take out an old chinese calender (the ones where you tear the pages out as the day passes). She'd say in Hokkien "teach me the ABC's" and I would teach her, as she practiced, and struggled especially in pronouncing her R's and L's. She loved to learn, and it's amazing how she's read the whole Bible despite not having proper education during her childhood.

In between all these hours spent with her, she'd spend time reminding us to pray. Prayer before meals was always a lengthy afair. When younger, I could never understand her complicated Hokkien, and never really did....I'd just wait wait and wait till I heard her say Amen, then gladly eat my food.

When I was older I realised that her prayers were lengthy simply coz she'd pray for all her children, naming them one by one (10 children!) and then pray for her grandchildren (22 altogether).

I'll never forget the time before I left for the US to further my studies. I sat with her and listened as she spoke. She said "whatever you do, you must put God first. Always remember to pray (ki-to). Don't ever find a guy who's not a Christian. WHen you find a guy, make sure he's someone who loves the Lord...and remember to come home when you're done. Remember...always kito, kito."

I know that when I was away she prayed for me at least twice a day. I know coz she told me so. Perhaps that is the reason why, when at least 80% of my friends dropped away from church, I kept going. It has to be my grandma and my parents' prayers.

One winter vacation when I visited her, she received me with hugs and kisses and said "come, come eat with me. I've only cooked a simple lunch, come eat with me." before we ate she told me "I pray for all my children and all of you at least 2 times a day. Let's pray first." I sat there, partially understanding her prayer...as she mentioned again the names of her 10 children and 20 over grandchildren one by one.

WHen I came back for good...she prayed that I'd find a good husband (and also tried to matchmake with her friend's grandchildren from church!). She prayed for me...all the time. When she left it was very hard to let her go.... but these words of her remain embedded in my heart till now.... "ki-to, ki-to", pray pray. Whenever I face troubles, worries...I'm reminded "ki-to."

I'm not a perfect mum.... but I hope that I will be able to pass this on to my children...that in all circumstances to remain steadfast in the Lord, to trust in Him...and ki-to, to pray, to pray.

Part of bringing up my children is allowing them to enjoy nature. And thus, we headed for yet another adventure, this time to Endau Rompin, and I can’t stop thinking about the wonderful time we had there. I miss that place. The whole vacation was just absolutely beautiful….beautiful weather, the sound of the gurgling river right beside our camping ground, the singing of the gibbon early in the morning, the funny “three tone” toad as I call it coz of it’s song…the singing of the insects…the cool weather. Magical is how I’d describe the place. Most of all, what made it so beautiful were the people who came along with us.

our campground

We were four families, living together on the same ground, sharing food and water. 10 adults and 11 VERY ENERGETIC LOVELY children. :) The first day was spent just lazing in the refreshing stream followed by a sumptuous meal of BBQ-ed stuff. What followed was shadow theatre, chit chatting and great fun and fellowship.
children doing shadow show :)

Our second day was in every way unforgettable. Based on the advice of the office at Bekok, we decided to track to Takah Berangin since it was only a 2 1/2 km walk, while Takah Tinggi was a 4 km walk. What WRONG advice it was! Later we found out that although Takah Berangin was only 21/2 hours walk, it would take the same duration as the other..total estimated time for both are 2 hours. Reason is that the path to Takah Berangin contained some very steep terrain and is the toughest track from our campground. Can you imagine us, especially 3 and 4 year old Lu and Jo doing that track? Thank GOD, we all MADE IT safely!

We got to the waterfall after a very very tiring and strenuous 3 hours, esp for the children (but which was also exciting with views of a millipede nest, elephant dung, exotic plants and insects!).

one of the many interesting sights along the way. A nest of millipedes

And yes, the waterfall was every bit worth it!!!! Beautiful and windy as it’s name-Takah Berangin! When you get to the centre of the pool you feel a very strong wind blowing, and also natural fish spa! yeap, could not get the fish to stop nibbling my feet! haha..

our guide in the middle of the falls. no photo of me in the falls

The journey back was equally tiring, and half way Jo fell asleep and poor daddy had to carry her.

Lu too fell asleep and Josh had to carry him. Finally ¾ way back, Josh unable to take the stress of carrying Lu any longer, put Lu down, and SLIPPED!!! His shouts and groans that followed were really frightening…. My first thought was that he’d broken his legs, but found out he had sprained BOTH legs! We prayed…fervently, but the guide told us to move on, as we had to get the children back before nightfall or it would get dangerous on the steep descent. We got out safely…and later when Josh finally came out with two walking sticks (GREAT THANKS to DING!) we all cheered and thanked God.

Night was delicious dinner …and the super children still very energetic despite the total tracking time of 6 hours, visited each other’s tents, had more fun doing shadow shows, playing with the torch, building sand castles at night and telling stories. There was so much laughter, so much freedom and joy…all under the beautiful Chap Goh Mei moonlit sky.

refusing to sleep they played late into the night under the clear moonlit sky... So lovely to hear the giggling and laughter of children playing their hearts out..


We didn’t want to leave on the third day and after a hearty breakfast right by the stream…

children feeding the fish before jumping in for a swim later.

we jumped into the stream and stayed every minute of the morning playing in the stream…..till the packing team shouted “TIME TO LEAVE!”.

Then with a heavy sigh and heart, we reluctantly got into dry clothes and headed home. I’ll definitely be there again…… When I asked the children “do you want to come back here again?” they shouted with a unifying “YES!!!!” Ian suggested we should stay for a month! Now I’m not sure if that’s possible! Hahaha….

We parents were definitely proud of our FABULOUS kids who made it through that tough climb to the falls. The guide told us, they were the first group of children he'd ever taken to the falls. Hats off to them! :)

My dad, who made us beautiful, huge, magnificent kites when me and my bro were young, decided he wanted to share his passion for kites with his grandchildren. So he invited us for an evening at Pantai Remis (located near K. Selangor).

The beach there is partly sandy and MOSTLY MUDDY! it's an excellent place to dig for mussels, lalas, cockershells. (oh yeah, fishing too!) Well...my children enjoyed flying kites for a while, but in the end abandoned the kites for something more TEMPTING,--------> MUD! MUD! MUD!I remember warning my children before leaving home "DO NOT WET YOUR CLOTHES!" It never occured to me that the warning should have been "DO NOT GET YOURSELF DIRTY!" and thus this is what happened..............

first muddy hands.....and feet...

then muddy dress..... and the ultimate...muddy spots on face! *uughh!*
So you know, if you have very inquisitive kids who don't mind some/a lot of dirt...beware! haha...Overall, P Remis is an ordinary beach, I give it a rating of C- or D. A little dangerous coz of the cars parked on the beach and Mat Rempits. However, SUNSET there is REALLY beautiful, I think lovely for artists and photographers.!


Nel walking on rocks as the sun sets..

lovely sunset

Anyway, yeah to clean Jo up, we headed to the nice clean toilet with the nice keeper, but it was closed. So we found another one located behind the stalls, where we had to pay 30cents each and 1$ for Jo. The lady was terribly RUDE!As for going back there......I'd say maybe..... but my children would answer with a YES