Raising children..

I lost it….I lost my temper last night, and poor Jo and Nel were the ones who had to face the brunt of my anger.

I’d just been tired, coz I’ve been down with a cold and headaches. So last night, after dinner, I escaped to my room, picked up a book to read. That’s how I unstress myself, by reading or blogging.

Jo came in, picked up a book about animals and nests and said “mum, read to me, read to me!”

I said “no, I’m not going to read that book to you. We just read it in the evening, and Nel read it to you twice today already.”

She kept bugging and bugging me. Jo’s like that, persistent in what she wants, knows what she wants.

Finally I replied angrily “if you won’t stop bugging me, I’ll leave this room, so stop it now!”

She kept at it, bugging me to read the book.

Finally I stood up and said “That’s it! I’ve had enough!”

I stomped out of the room and headed towards the guest room. Little Jo followed behind, screaming and crying “wait mum, wait for me, please mum….”

I shut the door, locked it and heard Jo screaming outside.

Her dad came up and asked “what’s going on??”

Finally, feeling a little regret, I unlocked the door and came out. Took Jo to the room with me. Jo started venting her feelings, my little 3 year old.

“Mum, I only wanted you to read the book. You walked away! Mum, you don’t like me, you don’t like me.” She said sadly while sobbing.

Jo continued “You read your book, but you didn’t want to read mine. Daddy is a good daddy, he read my book.”

I asked “does that make me a bad mummy?”

She replied “Yes, you are a bad mummy, coz you walked away, and you don’t like me.”

Realising that she genuinely felt hurt, I replied “Jo, I do love you, just that sometimes I Need time to do my own things, read my own books.”

“but you walked away. That means you don’t like me.” Said Jo with a sad face..

I looked at her and said “Jo, …….”

“Jo, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings…I didn’t mean to, I’m just really tired today. Forgive me Jo?”

She nodded quietly.
I suppose with my little girl, walking away is not a good solution. I will have to find a different way to cope when I’m tired the next time.