English Grey Tea, turned blue

I was doing some water colour painting yesterday when hubby came home. Since hubby was home, I decided to give total focus to my art to catch up for lost time. While I was painting I heard hubby mumbling something like

"My colleague brought back special Grey Tea from England and gave me a satchet to try. I saved it just for you, it's really special."

I mumbled "ok" and continued with my art work. A little later, he brought a lovely warm cup of grey tea and placed it next to me. "Here it is" he said, "try it."

I mumbled "ok" and continued painting.

Hubby disappeared from my sight. I then, *sigh* subconsciously dipped my ENTIRE paint brush, loaded with prussion blue, straight into the precious cup of English Grey tea. Yes, the only sachet of Grey Tea, which his colleague brought back from England, which hubby refused to drink coz he was saving it just for me.

Hubby came by looked at the cup, and I swear, his eyes opened wider than I've ever seen, when he saw the blue spattered all over the top of the tea cup, and dripping into the Grey Tea, turning it into a funny shade of colour. (sheepish grin)

ok, at first, he was a little mad....... and then, we had to laugh and REALLY laugh about it!
Anyway, then I told him, a month ago, I'd bought some Grey tea from Marks and Spencer, and told him, perhaps it might taste the same. So we settled for that. hahaha.....

reading before bedtime

Nel loves to ask her daddy to read, especially before bedtime. Yesterday I had a glimpse of what’s it like coz Nel was in my room. She grabbed a book off the shelf and told her daddy to read it. The book happened to be Gulliver’s Travels, the original classic version, in very very small font.

So both father and daughter rested on the bed as daddy read. I left them and went to shower Jo, prepared her for bedtime. When I got back to the room, I found Nel, half asleep. Her father (my husband :)) was reading, not chapter one, BUT the preface to Gulliver’s Travels, in the most monotonous voice I’ve ever heard. Low.....sleepy...... monotonous voice! He too looked half asleep like he’d just read the history book!!

I said loudly, Nel, “why in the world did you ask your dad to read Gulliver’s travels of all thing?” then turning to my husband I asked “and Hon! Why in the world are you reading the preface???”

Nel woke from her half slumber and said “mum, don’t disturb, I want dad to read so I can sleep!”

I was amused, I’d thought it’s coz she loved stories, but no, it’s coz the voice of her father has the powers to put my little one to sleep! Hmmmm….

I looked at my husband who had not replied to my question, but who’d continued reading in his monotonous voice, showing great disinterest in the preface to Gulliver’s Travels. He read like he was reading a legal document or something, and as his voice became lower, his eyelids almost closing, he struggled to read the very last paragraph in the Preface. And he read it like this:

“Gul-li-vers travels..was, (eyes half closing), like the most of (nodding off here)..like most of Sw…Sw..Swift’s work….(temporary silence) ano..anomy…anonous…anomy..amonynoy.....anonymously and is the….(eyes closed….)….is the…..(reading in his sleep now.)”

That’s when I interrupted again, “Nel, get to your room now, you’re almost asleep." Then turning to my husband I said quite loudly, "Hon, if you’d like to put Nel to sleep, read it to her in her room, and you can both fall asleep there.”

Hahahaha…..

The next day I asked Nel if she enjoyed Gulliver's Travels. She replied "who's Gulliver? did dad read me a story?" Oh, and when popping into Nel's room the next morning, I also noticed that Gulliver's Travels was opened to Chapter one, page one. I suppose that's when the father (my husband) fell into a deep sleep.

I came home yesterday and found a lovely sunflower from my husband. There was also a wedding anniversary card, written and signed by Nel on behalf of my husband, jo and my husband. haha..... :)

hubby and I also had a date at KLCC to watch the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra ....

all for our 8th Wedding Anniversary....

Happy Wedding Anniversary hon...love ya...

continued from last post..

today Nel came back and said excitedly "mum, I did well in my Chinese spelling test. Some of my friends didn't even know the words. And mum, do you know why I did well? because this morning, daddy woke up early and taught me those words. My daddy can teach Chinese so well! " She said it, like a daughter so proud of her dad's ability. that little effort of my hubby to spend that bit of time with Nel meant the world to her.

How the miracle took place? I don't know. Well, perhaps it's because of the prayer I said last night. BEfore going to bed, I prayed

"Lord, teach me to be a more patient mother...give me wisdom to guide my children when I don't know how to, teach me to have unconditional love and to love them for who they are, and not what they do."

I prayed that earnestly last night...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway, yeah, I popped by the library today and chanced upon this book by Tony Humphreys "Self-Esteem: The Key to Your Child's Education." I've now just managed to go through one chapter, but it really is a good book. Here, in just the first chapter I found some really good stuff...let me quote them here..

Success and failure in themselves have no effect on a child's motivation to learn, but the reactions of parents, teachers and other significant adults to success and failure can have a devastating effect.

Parents need to encourage children in their efforts to master an activity. What counts is the effort and NOT the performance.

Parents who put too much pressure on children for academic performance unwittingly damage the child's self esteem.

Parents who are overly protective/hands off, can undermine children's belief in themselves.

The Self-esteem of the child is affected by the parents' relationship with each other. The child who regularly witnesses openly hostile or silent hostility between parents can become chronically insecure.

That's about the gist of the first chapter. Now it's off to snooze land, will continue reading tomorrow. Semester begins, and thus my lecture begins next week. I will be busy busy busy again. but no complains, i thank God for this job, coz it brings in the additional income which I really need.

the photo

Many years ago.... to be precise, Spring time almost 10 years ago, I received an email from a person called Ted while I was still in the US putting the final touches to my Masters thesis.

Ted in that email asked if I still remembered him? I thought about the numerous times I'd met him, yet never really talked. I remembered him as the person who came up to talk to my brother once after we'd performed for a friend's wedding.....the man I saw from a distance when a best friend visited his brother who happened to be Ted's housemate (Ted smiled at me ).... I remembered him as the man who I met at camp. On that last day at camp, during farewell lunch..somehow all seats were fully occupied except for one at my table. Ted came and sat there and we finally talked, but just for about 4 minutes. Then I had to leave. Later I flew back to the States.

Anyway, back to that spring time 10 years ago, the email came as a surprise coz I never expected an email from him. He wrote to tell of how he'd been trying to trace me and get my contact when he bumped into my friend and got my email. Well...after a few emails back and forth, he asked for a photo of me. I thought, why not? he seemed like a nice guy and sent him this one.


Our relationship didn't happen. I went on to meet someone else and he too met someone else. I stopped writing him emails after a while, coz I just couldn't trust someone whom I'd just talked to for 5 mins over lunch.

However, when I came back, I volunteered in an orphanage and coincidentally, Ted was a volunteer there too. Need i say more? I just couldn't avoid him...so we got married. :)
Recently, while cleaning, I came across this photo I sent him.

He told me "Do you know, when I received this photo...I thought you were a wild sort of girl? Probably not my kind.."

Do you know why he thought that? well, first of all, he's kinda old fashioned type, logical, straight forward, kind and honest. Well, anyway....he thought I was wild because the photo........

ok, I've decided not to tell why. Maybe you could guess? look at the photo and guess why would Ted think me wild? hahaha... seriously I don't have my eyebrow or nose pierced, no tatoo...

oh well, gotta go. Take care all.

Kenny G

the kids still have it, Nel has not been to school for 4 days now. Knowing the schooling system here which gives kids 2-3 homework each day, there will be TONNES of homework for her to do once she's back in kindy. *sigh*

She's got ulcers on her lips still, and as for Jo, she's much better. Her statement yesterday was "mum, i've got blood on my tongue!" but today she said "i'm ok already mummy." but on looking into her mouth, there were still some small ulcers at the back. We're all tired of being cooped up at home and patience is running low.


Anyway, 2 weeks ago before this whole HFM thing started, hubby had bought me a surprise ticket to Kenny G's concert in Gentings. The last time he was in Malaysia some time in 1990, I was there too. :) Back then he was very popular and lotsa people were crazy about him. Now...he's so so.

Still hubby's idea of a surprise night out was REALLy nice. :) Well the drive took about an hour and half. The concert was enjoyable. I told hubby how Kenny G liked walking in from the back of the auditorium, and true enough, he did that, surprising and thrilling the audience to bits and pieces! haha... Anyway, can't believe how crowded Genting is, even on a fri night. People have too much money to throw away? (for my friends abroad, Genting is a highland famous for it's Casinos and Theme parks)

Well, photos are in hubby's phone. I've not downloaded them yet. However, we did queue up like crazy people (hundreds were in line!!!) to get his autograph. and here's the proof...hehe....



For today...I'm gonna attempt making home made ice-cream. Will let you all know how it turned out. Blessings..

Am finally back from the wonderful trip to Kuching. At first, I really dreaded the thought of going back for the annual celebration of Chinese New Year.

In the first few years of our marriage, going back to his hometown, was a torture. They used to think that my hubby had brought back an "Ang moh" wife (white/European wife). It didn't matter that my skin showed I was Chinese, fact was that my Chinese language was hopeless and I had little knowledge of the Chinese culture.

WHenever we go back, we stay with my hubby's 4th brother. That big village house is home to two families - 2nd brother and 4th brother, and mum. Each family has 4 children, thus making a total of 13 people. I say I stay with 4th brother, coz they've kinda divided the house into 2 zones, and I stay in 4th bro's zone. Why they've divided it? go figure yourself.

During my first few years, 4th bro's wife was...let's say, not very friendly. I will not specify in what way.... but ....needless to say, it created negative thoughts in my mind concerning my hubby's hometown and I spent many days in the guest room wishing I was home.

My mum in law, however, is a precious gem. Wise, calm and loving. Whenever my Chinese was lacking, we conversed in Bahasa Malaysia. haha..... My company there in the initial years before I had my my own children, were the children there. They made my visits there tolerable. They used to poke their heads into my room, and before long, I became very good friends with them. :) We've had really good times together doing all sorts of fun things. :)

In the years that followed, through my close friendship with the children...and my decision to remain polite and calm no matter what,...... things began to change for the better. This Chinese New Year, I'm happy to say that I got on very well with the entire family, partly because my Chinese has improved somewhat since then. :)

I even cooked some dishes for them, which they enjoyed. :) The trip was really wonderful. We did about 5 days of travelling...mostly to beaches and National Parks, and 5 days of visiting with friends and family. Their kids, now teens and qualified drivers, did the driving. :)

I've to say that this time, I came away, missing that place and the wonderful people and the wonderful in laws very much. :)

It's really a "happening" place, in the sense that there's always people around...I mean, it IS that way because out of the 8 children my mum in law has, 5 of them and their families and their children's children, live on the same street. That's why it is so "lau juak" - a Hokkien word meaning,........err....meaning.....warm and crowded with people you love to be with.

ok, will try to get some pics up. and will put them up soon. In the mean time, Happy Chinese New Year, or Lunar New Year to my friends who celebrate it. :)

Marriage

They say, if someone wants to be a writer, that person better write something everyday, doesn't matter how long they work at it, as long as they write something. I used to have thoughts to write about almost everyday when I had that MSN blog.... but somehow, my motivation to keep blogging has waned... and though I have random thoughts here and there, I'm not motivated to pen it down.

so here I am, forcing myself to write something, less my brain becomes lazy. Life is moving at such a fast pace. Was it just yesterday that I said goodbye to someone who was leaving for some country far away for a couple of years. Fast forward, and boom, I just saw the same person and 2 years have passed. 2 years, and I thought it was just yesterday I said goodbye. The person is sitting in her same old favourite chair at church, a little fatter a little fairer, but she's back and you wonder where the heck has time gone.

Talking of time, Sunday marks my 7th wedding anniversary. Seven?? my gosh...and I realise next year marks the 10th year since I got back from the US. I tend to think I'm only in my 20's till I check the mirror and realise I'm in my 30's. I'm just writing randomly and aimlessly today. but as I hit mid 30's the issue of time is a lot on my mind. I feel sorta in between, not old, not young.

Anyway, speaking of marriage, I'm blessed with a wonderful husband. He's not perfect, but neither am I. There are days when I ponder, question about stuff.... but then, surveying and analysing my life, I know God has given the best for me. He (my hubby) is patient, and able to tolerate me as I am, my ups and downs. thank God for that, for I really need a patient husband. haha...
He's not the fast pace goal seeker who's always going for the money. He's one easily contented, reliable, consistent, and loving. :) (sometimes tooooooo patient!)

As for me, I"m still working on me. There are days when I tend to let my tongue wag a little more than it should...(I mean negatively), then I'm reminded to hold it back. Yeah...you know, some people think if you don't like something, "speak it out and take it off your chest!". From my experience, that only results in terrible arguments, exchange of heated careless words that cut, hurt and sting.

In my opinion after 7 years of marriage, YES, disagreements and negative feelings must be voiced out, but in a proper way at the right time. Those who believe in leting it all out of their system without considering the other, are only gonna cause damage to their marriage. It only feeds the anger and ego of the angry spouse, it's a very self centered approach.... to me, it's like throwing glass at your spouse without considering how it's gonna hurt.
Sometimes it causes damage which lasts a long time, and leaves words that haunts the memory for a long time.

I've learnt to control my tongue, but still to voice things out...in a way that would get to him, hopefully without hurting him, and my husband has done the same. I suppose that's why we're still married and happy to be with each other. :) There's so much to be learned....so much more of myself to improve...... but yeah, me and hubby, we love each other (though there are moments we cannot stand each other! hahaha....but that is not often)....and with God as the center of the marriage...this family is mostly happy. :)

ok, I'm rambling..........................

J's not been well for 2 weeks now and it is tough. Sleepless nights again.
Anyway, while tending to the kids this afternoon, I received a phone call from hubby. Usually he calls around lunch time to check on how things are going and how kids are doing. So nice that my hubby still does that after 7 years of marriage.

Anyway, so as usual he called again today. Usually he says in a mild tone "hi hon, how's things at home?" Well, today was different, his voice was high, and I could sense the smile on his face on the other side of the phone. And when I said hi, he replied lovingly "Hi Darling!"

Without thinking, I responded by frowning and said "huh? whassup? what's wrong?"
I think he heard the tone of my voice, and sensed my frown. haha.. Then he laughed, and said, "ok,ok, hon, how was your day? "

.... later when I put the phone down, it dawned on me on how I've changed in my attitude when he calls. I used to be all excited...and to hear him call me honey or darling would be like seven heaven. In our years of marriage, the honey, became hon. And eventually "hon-ah". (It's M'sian to sometimes add the word "ah" at the back when calling someone.) So my name has become "Hun-nah." hahaha....

So today hearing him call me "darling".....was just surprising. It took me by surprise and I reacted by being unresponsive and unfriendly. .....oh boy,, I'm disappointed with myself. I should have whispered back "Yes, darling, how are you? I miss you." I'm sure that would've made his day instead of the "what's wrong?" reaction. haha..

*sigh* I must learn to be romantic again. Somehow...being with children all day long takes the romance out of my stride! I suppose the animation below summarizes what I did to his attempt at being romantic or loving. May I learn to be more loving next time. Actually i NEED to change and be a more loving wife when he calls or come home, instead of being so into the children. I know my husband would appreciate some extra loving from me. Tips tips ladies, any tips for me?