My grandma passed away last year, but thoughts of her remain fresh in my memory. Grandma was a woman of prayer, a woman of faith. I spent many afternoons with her when I was young as she would babysit us whenever my parents were busy at work.

My favourite memory is of my AhMa in her rocking chair, chuckling at our mischievous antics, and sometimes threatening us with the cane if we got out of hand. :) Often, while fanning herself with the old fashioned paper fan, she'd take out an old chinese calender (the ones where you tear the pages out as the day passes). She'd say in Hokkien "teach me the ABC's" and I would teach her, as she practiced, and struggled especially in pronouncing her R's and L's. She loved to learn, and it's amazing how she's read the whole Bible despite not having proper education during her childhood.

In between all these hours spent with her, she'd spend time reminding us to pray. Prayer before meals was always a lengthy afair. When younger, I could never understand her complicated Hokkien, and never really did....I'd just wait wait and wait till I heard her say Amen, then gladly eat my food.

When I was older I realised that her prayers were lengthy simply coz she'd pray for all her children, naming them one by one (10 children!) and then pray for her grandchildren (22 altogether).

I'll never forget the time before I left for the US to further my studies. I sat with her and listened as she spoke. She said "whatever you do, you must put God first. Always remember to pray (ki-to). Don't ever find a guy who's not a Christian. WHen you find a guy, make sure he's someone who loves the Lord...and remember to come home when you're done. Remember...always kito, kito."

I know that when I was away she prayed for me at least twice a day. I know coz she told me so. Perhaps that is the reason why, when at least 80% of my friends dropped away from church, I kept going. It has to be my grandma and my parents' prayers.

One winter vacation when I visited her, she received me with hugs and kisses and said "come, come eat with me. I've only cooked a simple lunch, come eat with me." before we ate she told me "I pray for all my children and all of you at least 2 times a day. Let's pray first." I sat there, partially understanding her prayer...as she mentioned again the names of her 10 children and 20 over grandchildren one by one.

WHen I came back for good...she prayed that I'd find a good husband (and also tried to matchmake with her friend's grandchildren from church!). She prayed for me...all the time. When she left it was very hard to let her go.... but these words of her remain embedded in my heart till now.... "ki-to, ki-to", pray pray. Whenever I face troubles, worries...I'm reminded "ki-to."

I'm not a perfect mum.... but I hope that I will be able to pass this on to my children...that in all circumstances to remain steadfast in the Lord, to trust in Him...and ki-to, to pray, to pray.

Today...

From Nel's Perspective.....................

This is what we often do, me and my cousins Lu and Ld (oh and baby J and baby Lo). We love to cycle...to the big big field. Sometimes it gets hard and mum has to push a little to get me up the hill. Little J and Lo would be in the stroller..and sometimes they fall asleep.

After a good 15 - 20 mins of cycling we get there and park our bikes under the evening sun. Then we just have fun...

playing ball...

playing with sand....

picking up rubbish from the ground though mum says we shouldn't do that..but I don't see why we shouldn't. It's fun picking up stuff from the ground.

sometimes we fight....but today we didn't really. NOt especially since special jet planes kept zooming above our heads. I think they're preparing for the 50th Celebration of our Country's Independence (31st August.) Lu particularly liked the airplanes. He's a guy, so it's natural.

But mostly we just have great fun and are REALLY happy...

coz we're young and free...no cares or worries yet...

our energy is boundless like the open sky...

Thank you God for making me, Lu and Ld...oh and for giving us baby J and baby Lo (who are fast asleep... so mummy hasn't taken their photos.)

Well we play tirelessly till the sunsets...

then head home...

for some delicous ice cream.yumm........ Today was beautiful. thank you GOd.

(all pictures copyright of Hearts @ Raising Children.)

The stunted tree

This is a picture of a little tree planted in the large space across the road from my house. You would think that this tree is just a year old, but actually this tree was planted way back in Jan 2004. Let me tell you the story of this tree.

My parents had gone to a village where these lovely tall trees provided shade. Not only did they provide shade, they also provided beauty and fragrance through it’s beautiful white blossoms which smell sweet and refreshing.

So enthralled by this tree, they bought a few young ones and came home with them. They gave one of it to me and I planted it across the road, expecting it to grow tall and begin blossoming. Alas, I became busy with my little ones, and then Jo came along. Unattended, the weeds quickly grew close up to it and began to choke it.

Noticing the poor condition of the tree, I finally removed the thick grass and weeds surrounding it, but that proved insufficient. Then I decided to put fertilizer, but it still proved futile. That tree did not grow an inch!!!

Then, one fine day, after 2 years of remaining stunted, the leaves began to turn brown, and within 4 days, I saw it wither and die. Later I found out that no matter what I did, it would not grow, coz there was one major factor that killed it. I found out that the ground was hard ground, full of large stones buried in it by the housing developers when they were building my house. They did not throw all the garbage away, but planted them in earth. This stones buried were unseen to my eye. But they served to stop the roots of the plant from growing, causing it to remain stunted, and eventually die.

Now a strange miracle happened though! A few days later, I noticed a new shoot growing! Yes, fresh and green! And so here it is now, a few months old. Now unless I tend to it more regularly and dig that hard ground and replace it with new earth, it too will probably die.

I think of this tree in relation to me. There have been times when the “weeds” of life have come crowding in so near I felt like I was choking and “dying”. But physically, I chose to then remove these weeds. The weeds were things such as an overtly busy schedule, pressure from work, procastination. These were things I could control.

But then there were/are also big stones, buried deep within where people cannot see. And these are the things which really could choke me to death. These stones I cannot remove on my own. Just as I have to help the tree by digging it’s earth, I believe that someone has to help me “dig” my heart and search me, and remove these stones. And only one person can do it, and that is God.

Actually, He has been removing stone after stone from my life. I remember a time in my teenage years when I was so choked by fear, fear of people. I felt isolated, entrapped, stuck, choked. But when I cried out to God, He helped me and began removing these “stones” a little at a time. Gradually I began to feel more free..and this process continues. I know, He (God) gave me a chance, and like my little tree, I grew a new shoot and became a new person. Just ask some of my long time friends and they’ll know it’s true.

What are the “stones” in your life? They could be issues related to fear, self-esteem, pride, stubbornness, unforgiveness, unforgettable/shattering incidents…… May we seek God, and let Him remove these things less we turn brown and wither and die. With His help and strength, we can grow “tall” and fragrant, like the beautiful trees my parents saw, and not stunted and choked like the tree in front of my house.